In the fall of my senior year in college I purchased a gorilla suit and it was a steady source of entertainment. But first…here’s a horrifying 7 second video of a real gorilla jumping towards a window:
The reason behind dropping a hundred dollars on a high quality primate costume was Halloween. My friend named Mufasa and I were originally going to split the cost, since he was the one who really wanted to wear it, but as the end of October approached Mufasa was short on cash. I decided to take one for the team and purchase the suit myself. Mufasa said I didn’t need to do that, but I told him that a gorilla suit was just a good thing to have, that would maintain most of it’s value long after it’s first use. Like a car or a house.
Here’s one of my top 5 favorite vines (13 seconds) of a Halloween prank gone horribly wrong:
The first plan for using the gorilla suit was to set up a chase on the night of Halloween. Two of our friends would be in banana costumes (Sean and Pusedad, both soulless gingers). They would be chased by Mufasa in the gorilla costume, followed by me in a safari hunter outfit, followed by Sylvester in a Captain America outfit. We had checked off all links of the food chain.
Nothing really happened that night as we ran through all the major buildings on campus. We made loud noises, fought each other as drunk lads do, huddled around people hollering like hooligans, etc. Students laughed, pointed, posted “Can’t believe I just saw ___” Facebook statues, security came, we hid. But that night was only the beginning…
Mufasa wore the suit to class once. Nobody knew it was him as he nonchalantly sat down, took out his supplies, and fumbled with a pen. He said the teacher’s little kid, who was visiting that day, was scared,
cried, and huddled in a corner for the entire period. Mufasha took an absence for this prank. Worth it? He said yes.
We would bring the suit out whenever we hosted parties. Girls are always down to grind with a gorilla.
“Umm…who are you?”
“OOO OOO AHHHH AHHHH.”
Sean and I took the suit on a road trip to Wisconsin to watch D3 cross country nationals. We would put the mask (with added sunglasses) on at every toll booth. The people in the toll booth never even flinched. No wonder so many of them commit suicide. They can’t even laugh at a gorilla with sunglasses driving a car!
We also put on the mask to harass other vehicles. That gave us some more reactions…the most common one being thumbs up. “Keep up the good work!”
At the cross country race, Sean wore the suit. There was another gorilla there from NYU. Sean stared at him without moving for five minutes. I proposed Sean beat the shit out of him to show which one was alpha. Sean said that he was already alpha and that was all.
Here’s me wearing the suit at Comic-Con:
Walking through the streets of NYC in the gorilla suit on my way to Comic Con, I saw that 95% of people barely batted an eyelash. “Oh, someone in a gorilla suit? I just saw a bald, homeless woman doing the Cotton-Eyed Joe in front of a python. And you think you’re special?”
There’s more that happened with the gorilla suit, such as a drinking event in grad school involving a funnel, vomit, and passing out in bushes, and an occurrence a few days before my college graduation ceremony involving water balloons and violence…but this is only my blog…so I’ll just have to leave you hanging…
(Garbage pun intended)