Lost on Kepler 852-b (Chapter 1: Shipwreck)

(Pour lire la version française, cliquez ici.)

            I woke up in a pile of rubble 1,602 light-years from earth.

            Son of a slitch.

            My last memory was during the descent when something collided with the spacecraft. My wife and I ran to the emergency-landing chambers, like we had learned during training. I was locked in mine and I looked at my wife’s face one last time, before there was another collision and everything went black.

            My landing chamber must have separated from the rest of the ship. And I must have inhaled some leaking anesthesia by accident because I feel dizzy, sick, and thirsty enough to drink torch fluid or that nasty medicine the NASA scientists made us take for interstellar travel. Around me there’s a thick jungle with twisted trees like I’ve never seen before, even in the voyage briefings. Where are the others? Where’s the rest of the ship?

            My vision is blurry and my mouth is desiccated: first, before the finding the others, I need water.

            I crawl to my survival kit, hacking up a lung. My throat feels like it’s been scratched by sand-paper. But the NASA scientists were right, I can breathe and the atmosphere and the gravity are like earth. Kepler-852b is located in the “habitable zone” of a star practically identical to our sun in the “northern” part of the Milky Way Galaxy. I take out the metal water bottle and chug.

            Once my thirst was quenched, I become my lost in my thoughts. Amongst all the passengers aboard the ship, United Republic Migration #2, there is no doubt that I am the least qualified to be alone on this planet. When I was on earth I was a janitor at a high school who wrote a sci-fi blog on the weekends. On a whim, I applied, with my wife, for the lottery to be a part of The Great Migration to Kepler-852b. NASA wanted to include all members of society on the spaceship, which would carry 300 passengers, and not only the elite. My wife and I were chosen to represent “the common people” who also deserved a chance to live another life on another planet. I bet NASA just did that for positive publicity and to receive more public funding. In my application essay for the lottery, I wrote that my wife and I had couldn’t have children and dreamed of leaving on this great adventure. That must have pulled the heartstrings. In any case, they chose us, my essay was published in major newspapers, and now I’m here. Lots of other passengers weren’t prepared to survive alone which is why everyone was equipped with such a good survival kit. But still, I think I’m the worst. My specialized skills include knowing the right cleaning liquids to remove graffiti from bathroom stalls and how to fix a toilet. I don’t even know how to make a fire. 

            However, nobody was expected to survive alone. The spaceship was going to land near a place where the first spaceship, United Republic Migration #1, had landed a year ago. A city was supposed to have been under construction (which I was going to help clean!) I wonder if our vessel went far off course. I wonder what hit us in the sky. I wonder if I’m the only one who survived. I think about my wife and I feel a pain rise in my chest. No. She’s still alive. I don’t know why I know this, but I know it, that’s all. I have to believe it. 

            I have to find my wife and the others or I’m a dead man. I survey my surroundings.

            I take out my axe and tie the sack on my back. It’s then I hear an ominous clicking in the jungle around me. It sounds like an insect. Son of a slitch, I hope it’s not a giant insect. I hate insects.

            I walk in the opposite direction of the sound and make a path through the jungle. The leaves are soft like silk, some of them are blue, and the light sparkles on the trunks of the trees. I would say the place was beautiful if I wasn’t trying not to die.

            The jungle becomes thicker with crisscrossing branches and I use my axe to chop them. As I cut through the wood-like material (it breaks more easily than wood and emits a minty smell), I feel a rumbling in the ground and hear a peculiar noise, like pressurized air passing quickly through a tube. This makes me nervous and I start bushwhacking faster. The noise becomes louder. I approach a trembling wall of foliage. I push through the leaves and fall off a ledge.

            The air rushes past me and I blindly search for anything to grab a hold of. I grab hold of a root that protrudes from a rock. My sack slips off my back but I’m able to just snatch a handle. I swing in the air.

            After pulling my sack over my shoulder I just swing there for a minute, my heart pounding in my throat, my breathing ragged and heavy. I look down and see jutting rocks, maybe five hundred feet below.

            I look up and see that there is a network of intertwining roots, all the way up to the ledge. The foliage forms a thick wall on the edge of the cliff.

            I climb up the hanging roots, then drag myself and the sack on to the cliff. I sit down and wait for my breathing to settle. Dying from falling off a cliff. That would have been anticlimactic. Cross the Milky Way to the constellation of Cygnus and then stumble over a ledge and splatter on some rocks.

            I get up, carefully push a few leaves aside, and look out.

            Yup, my emergency landing chamber landed on the top of a cliff, a mountain, on the edge of a vertical drop. Looking down, I see that beyond the roots is a practically vertical rock face with small ledges and protruding slabs. Then, looking into the distant valley, I see something that makes me gasp.

            The spaceship. It had crashed in the grassy-like valley below. 

          No wonder I woke up alone. The survivors of the ship would never have climbed this steep mountain looking for me. They must still be down there. The ship was filled with all our provisions, of course. They probably formed a base there, then sent out scouts. I couldn’t see the ship’s details from afar. But I knew I had to go. It was my only chance of survival.

            For the next two hours I wander around the jungle, attempting to find a path off the cliff, but it’s a steep drop all around. Weird. And unlucky.

            I discover the source of the clicking. In the middle of the jungle there’s a deep, wide hole that reminds me of a volcano. The clicking is coming from there. The hole is so deep that it’s black at the bottom, and the sides are smooth, impossible for me to climb down without sliding into the abyss. No clicking abyss for Walter Wanky. Yes, that’s my real name. Please save the jokes.  

            It looks like I’m going to have to find a way to descend the cliff. 

            Problem is, I’m scared of heights and I don’t know how to rock-climb, or rock-descend, or whatever they call it.

            But if I don’t get off this cliff and find help, I’m a dead man.

            Fuck.


Chapter 2, coming soon, subscribe below:

Perdu sur Kepler 852-b (Chapitre 1 : Naufrage)

(To read the English version, click here.)

            Je me suis réveillé dans un tas de décombres à 1 602 années-lumière de la terre.

            Putain.

            Mon dernier souvenir est celui de la descente lorsque quelque chose est entré en collision avec le vaisseau spatial. Ma femme et moi avons sprinté vers nos chambres d’atterrissage d’urgence, comme on nous l’avait appris pendant l’entraînement. Je me suis enfermé et j’ai regardé son visage encore une fois, avant qu’il y ait une autre collision et que tout devienne noir.

            Ma chambre d’atterrissage a dû se séparer du reste du navire. Et j’ai dû inhaler une partie de l’anesthésique, par accident, car je me sens étourdi, malade et assoiffé pour boire le liquide d’aullumage ou ce mauvais médicament que les scientifiques de la NASA nous ont fait prendre pour les voyages interstellaires. Autour de moi, il y a une jungle épaisse avec des arbres tordus que je n’avais jamais vus auparavant, même dans les briefings de voyage. Où sont tous les autres ? Où est le reste du navire ?

            Ma vision est floue et ma bouche est horriblement desséchée: d’abord, avant de trouver les autres, j’ai besoin d’eau.

            Heureusement, chaque chambre d’atterrissage d’urgence est équipée d’un kit de survie. Chaque passager en avait un. Il contient un marmite, un sac de couchage isolé et gonflable, une petite hache, une barre de fer produisant des étincelles, une bouteille d’eau métallique à usages multiples (avec de l’eau déjà à l’intérieur), un récupérateur d’eau portable, un filet, un couteau à usages multiples, 3,5 livres de fil de fer (un filament unique de 300 mètres), 30 mètres de corde, 30 tubes d’énergie alimentaire qui peuvent me durer au moins deux semaines et une tablet à énergie solaire pleine de données utiles (pour la survie). 15,4 kilogrammes de materiel, le tout emballé efficacement dans un sac. Pas mal. Sauf que je suis sur une putain de planète extraterrestre et que les humains n’ont pratiquement aucune idée de ce qu’il y a ici.

            Je rampe jusqu’à mon kit de survie, en crachant un poumon. J’ai l’impression que ma gorge a été éraflée par du papier de verre. Mais les scientifiques de la NASA avaient raison, je peux respirer et l’atmosphère et la gravité sont comme la terre. Kepler-852b est situé dans la “zone habitable” d’une étoile presque identique au soleil terrestre. Je sors la bouteille d’eau en métal et je bois. Le goût est délicieux. Les petites choses de la vie.

            Une fois ma soif étanchée, je ne peux pas m’empêcher de sourire devant l’absurdité de ma situation. De tous les passagers du navire de United Republic Migration N°2, il ne fait aucun doute que je suis le moins qualifié pour être seul sur cette planète. Lorsque j’étais sur terre, j’étais concierge dans un lycée et j’écrivais un blog de science-fiction le week-end. Sur un coup de tête, je me suis inscrit, avec ma femme, à une loterie pour participer à la Grande Migration vers Kepler-852b. La NASA voulait inclure tous les membres de la société dans le vaisseau spatial, qui pouvait contenir 300 passagers, et pas seulement l’élite. Ma femme et moi avons été choisis pour représenter les “humains ordinaires” qui méritaient aussi une chance de vivre une autre vie sur une autre planète. Je parie que la NASA a fait cela pour une publicité positive et pour obtenir davantage de fonds publics. Dans mon dossier de candidature à la loterie, j’ai écrit que ma femme et moi ne pouvions pas avoir d’enfants et rêvions de partir pour cette grande aventure. Cela a dû toucher assez de cœurs pour nous faire participer à la loterie. Quoi qu’il en soit, nous avons été choisis, mon essai a été publié dans de grands journaux, et maintenant je suis là. Bon. Beaucoup d’autres passagers n’étaient pas préparés à survivre seuls, comme moi, c’est pourquoi tout le monde était équipé d’un kit de survie aussi bien garni. Mais quand même, je crois que je suis le pire. Mes compétences spécialisées comprennent la connaissance des liquides de nettoyage appropriés pour enlever les graffitis et la manière de réparer une toilette. Je ne sais même pas comment faire un feu.

            Cependant, personne n’était censé survivre seul. Le vaisseau spatial allait atterrir près de l’endroit où le premier, United Republic Migration N°1, avait atterri il y a un an. Une ville était censée être en construction (dans laquelle j’allais aider à nettoyer ! Tout le monde fait sa part !) Je me demande jusqu’où notre vaisseau a dévié de sa route. Je me demande ce qui nous a heurté dans le ciel. Je me demande si je suis le seul survivant. Je pense à ma femme et je ressens une douleur montante dans la poitrine. Non. Elle est toujours en vie. Je ne sais pas pourquoi je sais cela, mais je le sais, c’est tout. Je dois le croire.

            Assez de questions et de spéculations. Je n’ai pas le temps. Je dois trouver ma femme et les autres ou je suis un homme mort. Il faut surveiller les environs.

            Je sors ma hache et j’attache le sac sur mon dos. C’est alors que j’entends un cliquetis inquiétant dans la jungle qui m’entoure. On dirait un insecte. Fils de pute, j’espère que ce n’est pas un insecte géant. Je déteste les insectes.

            Je marche dans la direction opposée au son et je me fraie un chemin dans la jungle. Les feuilles sont douces comme de la soie, certaines sont bleues, et la lumière scintille sur les troncs des arbres. Je dirais que l’environnement est magnifique si je n’espérais pas ne pas mourir.

            La jungle devient plus épaisse avec des branches qui s’entrecroisent et je les coupe avec ma hache. Lorsque je coupe la matière qui ressemble à du bois (elle se casse plus facilement que le bois et dégage une odeur mentholée), je sens un grondement dans le sol et j’entends un bruit particulier, comme de l’air sous pression passant rapidement dans un tube. Cela me rend nerveux et je coupe plus vite à travers les branches. Le bruit devient plus fort. Je m’approche d’un mur de feuillage tremblant. Je pousse à travers les feuilles et je tombe d’un rebord.

            L’air se précipite devant moi et je cherche aveuglément quelque chose à quoi m’accrocher. Je m’accroche à une racine qui dépasse d’un rocher. Mon sac glisse de mon dos mais je suis juste capable d’attraper la poignée. Je me balance en l’air.

            Après avoir tiré mon sac sur l’épaule, je me suis balancé pendant une minute, le cœur battant dans la gorge, la respiration étant lourde. Je regarde en bas et je vois des rochers déchiquetés, peut-être 150 mètres plus bas.

            Je lève les yeux et je vois qu’il y a un réseau de racines qui s’entremêlent, jusqu’à la corniche. Le feuillage forme un mur épais au bord de la falaise.   

            Je grimpe sur les racines suspendues, puis je me traîne avec le sac jusqu’à la falaise. Je m’assieds et j’attends que ma respiration se calme. Mourir d’une chute dans une falaise. C’est un peu décevante. Traverser la Voie Lactée jusqu’à la constellation du Cygnus pour ensuite faire un faux pas et s’écraser sur les rochers.

            Je me lève, écarte soigneusement quelques feuilles et regarde au-delà.

            Ouais, ma chambre d’atterrissage d’urgence a atterri au sommet d’une falaise, d’une montagne, sur le bord d’une chute verticale. En regardant en bas, je vois qu’au-delà des racines, il y a une paroi rocheuse pratiquement verticale avec de petits rebords et des dalles en saillie. Puis, en regardant dans la vallée lointaine, je vois quelque chose qui me fait haleter.

            Le vaisseau spatial. Il s’était écrasé dans la vallée en contrebas.

            Pas étonnant que je me sois réveillé seul. Les survivants du vaisseau n’auraient jamais pu escalader cette montagne escarpée. Ils doivent encore être en bas. Le vaisseau était rempli de toutes nos provisions, bien sûr. Ils ont probablement formé une base là-bas, puis ont envoyé des éclaireurs. Je ne pouvais pas voir les détails du navire au loin. Mais je savais qu’il fallait que j’y aille. C’était ma seule chance de survivre.

            Pendant les deux heures qui suivent, j’erre dans la jungle, en essayant de trouver un chemin pour sortir de la falaise, mais c’est une pente raide tout autour. Bizarre. Et malchanceux.

            Je découvre la source du cliquetis. Au milieu de la jungle, il y a un trou profond et large qui me rappelle un volcan. Le cliquetis venait de là. Le trou est si profond qu’il est noir au fond, et les côtés sont lisses, impossible pour moi de descendre sans glisser dans l’abîme. Pas d’abîme mystérieux pour Walter Wanky. Oui, c’est mon vrai nom. S’il vous plaît, gardez vos blagues pour vous. Je les ai toutes entendues.

            Il semble que je vais devoir trouver un moyen de descendre la falaise. 

            Le problème, c’est que j’ai peur des hauteurs et je ne sais pas comment faire de l’escalade, ou de la descente, ou peu importe comment ils appellent ça.

            Mais si je ne descends pas de cette falaise et que je ne trouve pas d’aide, je suis un homme mort.

            J’emmerde.

—–

Chapitre 2, à venir, abonnez-vous :

Michael Coleman (Part 1: Injustice)

Photo Credit: Wiki Commons: George Floyd Protest Against Police Brutality in Dallas, author Matthew T. Rader

            About the middle of the 21st century there lived in Bedford-Stuyvesant, New York a young man named Michael Coleman, the son of an English high school teacher, who was one of the most honorable as well as one of the most violent men of his generation. Until his eighteenth year this extraordinary young man could have been considered a shining symbol of civil virtues with a bright future in front of him. He had a full scholarship to Columbia University, was a track star who set New York State records in the mile (4:01.3) and 800 meters (1:49.2), and he volunteered every weekend at a local nursing home (Concord); he had not one neighbor or classmate who did not consider him generous, charming, and kind; in short, the world would have had cause to revere his memory, had he not experienced horrible tragedy and pursed one of his virtues to suicidal destruction. For his sense of justice would make him not only a murderer, but a hunted terrorist that would shake the very foundations of American democracy.

            One Saturday night he was returning home with his younger brother, Jaqual, from a party at a trap house (where he kissed his high school crush for the first time) when his mother met them at the door in a panic. “Boys, I talked to grannie a few hours ago and she said she’s not feeling well, and now she’s not picking up her phone, go check on her, quick!” Their grandmother lived only half a mile away on the first floor of a brownstone by herself, and the boys sprinted through the streets, desperate to save the woman they loved the most in the world (every Sunday they walked their grannie to Greater Free Gift Baptist Church). Just as it was beginning to pour with rain the boys heard a siren. A police car cut them off and four officers jumped out with their weapons raised.

            “Put your hands up!” The boys put up their hands. 

            “Stay calm,” whispered Michael to Jaqual, who knew that his younger brother had a short fuse. “Just do what they say.” A minute passed until a cop yelled,

            “On your knees!”

            “Officer, our grandma is sick, she’s alone and needs to go to the hospital, we are not engaged in any illegal activity, she lives at 101 Stockton Street and if you follow us we-”

            “Shut up! Don’t give me any of your bullshit excuses. Sprinting through the Tompkins’ projects on a Saturday night? Visiting your sick grandmother, my ass.” The other cops chuckled.

            “Officer you don’t understand, our grandmother has a heart condition and if she doesn’t receive medical attention soon she-” Jamal stood up. Michael glared at his brother. “What are you doing, you idiot?”

            “Get down!” But Jamal attempted to run past the police officers. One of them, Derek Chovin, a corpulent member of Blue Lives Matter, tackled him and pushed his face against the pavement. “Search him!” Another cop patted down Jaqual’s jacket and pulled out a dime-bag of marijuana and a swiss-army knife. “He’s carrying.” Jaqual stared at his brother and yelled,

            “Michael run!” At the same moment the police officer yelled, “Shut up, you little-” and pushed his knee against Jaqual’s neck. Michael heard, even with the rain pelting down, a distinct *crack* and saw Jaqual’s eyes roll into the back of his head. In horror Michael stood up and sprinted past the police car. The cops fired their guns, but missed. The neighbors came to their windows and watched as a young man ran away from the police and disappeared at the end of the block.

            Once Michael reached his grandmother’s brownstone, he found her lying unconscious on the kitchen floor. She wasn’t breathing. He called 9-1-1, gave her C.P.R. (breaking her ribs), and ten minutes later an ambulance arrived. Michael rode in the ambulance to the hospital, tears forming rivulets on his cheeks, while the medics used an automated external defibrillator. He told himself that he didn’t just abandon his younger brother and that everything would be all right. 

            The first few hours after a heart attack is called the critical period. Every second counts. The quicker the blood flow is restored and the treatment instituted, the better the chances of survival, and the better the chances of keeping the heart muscle alive.

            But when Michael and his grandmother arrived at the emergency room (she was immediately taken to the intensive care unit), the doctors knew it was too late. Michael’s grandmother had passed away, her soul moving on from this bitter, sorrowful world. If she had arrived a few minutes sooner, she might have survived.

            When Michael and his mother, Breonna, received the news in the waiting room, they burst into tears and held each other in their trembling arms. Michael had always acted like the father in the family, and had always tried to act stronger than the felt. But Michael knew they couldn’t waste time mourning when his brother had likely been taken in by the authorities.

            “Ma, I think Jaqual’s really hurt, I saw a police officer push his knee against his neck, then the cops fired at me when I ran away, we have to go find him.” But little did they know that the political machine of unjust law enforcement was already working against them. While Michael was with his grandmother on the way to hospital, the police at the scene of their crime were already attempting to cover up their abuse and mistakes. They interviewed neighbors, created false-witness reports, and manipulating the neighbors’ fear and lack of knowledge, had them sign the incriminating documents. The cops convened amongst themselves and agreed upon a fabricated story about what had happened: both of the boys attempted to run away, one of the boys was tackled and once the marijuana was discovered he attempted to stab the police officer with his knife, the police officer (Derek Chovin) was forced to defend himself and struck the boy in the neck with his hand, rendering him unconscious. Meanwhile, the other boy got away, shooting at the police officers while he ran. The police officers were unable to find the second boy’s gun. Meanwhile, while the cops were creating the false story (which they agreed to repeat under oath if necessary, since they were all trusted colleagues and friends, often sharing beers together after shifts), Jaqual’s body was slumped against the seat in the back of the police officer. He was completely paralyzed, as his spinal cord had been cracked, and was in desperate need of medical attention. The police officers took him to the 79th precinct instead of the hospital, and placed him in a holding cell, where he lightly groaned on a cot.

            Michael and Breonna arrived at the 81st precinct, searching for Jaqual. The indifferent and tired police officers (it was 3:55 am) made them wait for thirty minutes while they called nearby precincts. But since Michael’s story of what occurred did not match what the police officers had reported, the 79th precinct did not have any record of admitting a boy matching their description of what happened. Nonetheless, after another thirty minutes of waiting, Breonna and Michael decided to visit the 79thcprecinct anyway.

            Upon walking into the 79th precinct, Michael immediately recognized Derek Chovin behind a counter.

            “That’s him!” Michael shouted. “The cop who had his knee against Jacqual’s neck!” Michael also recognized two other police officers who had been on the scene, standing behind desks and filling out paperwork. For a moment the cops looked at one another in shock, uncertain of what to do, until the superior officer, Russel Shotski, took control,

            “Arrest him.” The police officers scurried towards Michael, pulling out handcuffs.

            “What? I did nothing wrong? Where’s Jaqual? What did you do with him?” Breonna stepped in front of Michael.

            “Where’s my son?! I want to see my son. Don’t you dare touch him! Back away!”

            “M’am, your sons both committed crimes tonight. One of them is in custody, and the one behind you fired a weapon at a police officer. Please step away.”

            “Fired at a police officer? Michael would never do that! He doesn’t even have a gun!”

            “I never fired a weapon! I ran away and you shot at me! My grandmother was dying. I had to-”

            “Take it easy boy. M’am, please step away. We don’t want to use force.” The police officers had blocked the exit and were circling the mother and son like wolves around sheep. Breonna had no doubt Michael did nothing wrong. While Jaqual had been a troublemaker growing up, Michael had never lied or had any conflicts with teachers or the authorities.

            “He did nothing wrong! I’m recording this bullshit. I want to see my son.” As she started to pull out her phone, Russel Shotski grabbed her arm.

            “I’m going to have to ask you to put your phone away. You’re not allowed to take videos in the precinct. We-”

            “Don’t you touch me you-” As Russel struggled with Breonna, his elbow smashed into her face and she fell to the ground.

            “No! You can’t-” Two officers were restraining Michael, who began shouting uncontrollably, and they managed to put his hands in cuffs. Blood streamed down Breonna’s face. She blinked rapidly, coughing and choking. Her nose was broken and she felt dizzy. One of the officers picked up her phone and put it in his pocket. They would never have done this in broad daylight. Russel attempted to help Breonna stand up.

            “M’am, I’m so sorry I knocked you down. But you need to cooperate. We’re trying to help and-” she pushed herself away and let out a scream.

            “Don’t touch me you monster!” She hoisted herself up, wiping the blood off her mouth, and glared at all the officers in the precinct.

            “Give me my phone.”

            “I’m sorry m’am, we can’t do that.”

            “I said give me my phone. That’s my private property.”

            “You resisted a police officer. You attacked him when-”

            “I ATTACKED NOBODY. WHERE IS MY SON?!” Breonna was becoming hysteric. She looked balefully at the police officers in front of her, who showed no signs of empathy or mercy, and at Michael being dragged away.

            “I didn’t do anything!” he shouted.

            “Where are you taking him?”

            “To the holding cell, where his brother is, while the investigation is pending. We promise that-” Breonna stopped listening and became aware of the hopeless, crushing futility of the situation. The sorrow of her mother’s death swelled up in her like a tidal wave. Her chest was heaving, her face was burning, and she felt a madness mounting up into her throbbing temples.

            “You will all pay for this. Every single one of you bastards. My sons did nothing wrong. You hurt my son and refused to let me see him.”

            “M’am, since you’ve arrived you have showed nothing but hostility. We are doing our duty, we are trying our best to do our jobs and you-”

            “I’m going to contact my lawyer, Albert Garner. Ever heard of him? Yeah that’s right. And every single one of you will pay. Mark my words.” Michael heard this final statement as he was dragged into the back of the precinct. Breonna ran out of the precinct, to return to her apartment to find a phone, planning on waking up a neighbor if she couldn’t find one. 

            In the holding cell, Michael saw Jaqual laid out on a cot, motionless. He collapsed next to him on his knees, felt his pulse, and verified that he was breathing. But Jaqual was drooling and staring vacantly at the ceiling. Michael heard him faintly groan.

            “My brother needs medical attention! Come back here! He needs to be taken to the hospital! Come back!” Michael shouted until his lungs ached. Two police officers returned with their hands on their ears.

            “Stop screaming you-”

            “My brother’s not moving! I think he’s paralyzed. Why is he in a holding cell?! This is against the law. You have to take him to the hospital!” The two police officers gave each other discreet, knowing looks. There had been an argument amongst the police officers upon their arrival at the precinct whether or not to take Jaqual directly to the hospital. They had agreed to fill out the paperwork first, then to transport him to critical care. This was against typical procedure, but in the complications and subconscious guilt of creating a false story they had ignored Jaqual’s deteriorating condition, his paralyzed-state, in favor of constructing viable alibies. While lifting Jaqual out of the police vehicle and into the precinct they had made his broken spinal cord even worse.

            “He…he can’t move?” stuttered one of the police officers. Taking up the cue, the other continued.

            “He could move before.”

            “NO HE CAN’T MOVE. HE NEEDS TO BE TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL!”

            “All right, settle down kid, we’ll talk to our boss.” The police officers left and had a whispered, hurried discussion with Russel Shotski. They agreed that they should call an ambulance and transport Jaqual to the hospital immediately. Michael would stay in the cell until the morning.

            Meanwhile, back at her apartment, Breonna couldn’t find a cell phone. She desperately knocked on the door of her neighbor, waking them up, and told them the story of what had happened, and her need for a phone. They gave her a phone, telling her to seek medical attention because of her bloody face, and she typed in the personal cell number of Albert Garner, a family friend and criminal defense lawyer whose wife was also a judge. He picked up.

            “Who the hell is this?”

            “It’s Breonna. Albert I-”

            “Breonna why are you calling at this godforsaken hour. I-”

            “My boys are both in the 79th precinct. Michael thinks Jaqual was paralyzed by a police officer last night and they took my phone and-” She told Albert everything that happened. Within a minute Albert understood the gravity of the situation and jumped out of bed.

            “I can be at the 79th precinct in an hour. We’ll get your boys out, I promise. Can you meet me there?”

            “Yes.”

            “Don’t let them give you back your phone. Wait outside and don’t talk to any police officers. Don’t say a word.”

            “I won’t.” 

            At the 79th precinct the ambulance arrived and transported Jaqual to the hospital. While Jaqual’s body was being lifted off the cot, his limbs hanging limply in the police officer arms, Michael was restrained in the corner and shouting, “WHY WASN’T HE TAKEN DIRECTLY TO THE HOSPITAL?! YOU MIGHT HAVE KILLED HIM! YOU MIGHT HAVE PARALYZED HIM FOR LIFE!” Then he was released, shoved into the corner, and the holding cell door slammed shut.

            With Jaqual gone, the police officers had a worried discussion in the front office about what had happened. They had done a background check on Michael and Jaqual and discovered no previous offenses. Through a google search they learned of Michael’s exemplary school record and years of community service. They knew they had a major liability on their hands and wanted to fix the situation before the morning shift arrived and they’d have to explain to their chief what they’d done wrong. One of the police officers, who had been working in the precinct all night, suggested,

            “We should let Michael go and give back his mother’s phone. He doesn’t deserve to be locked up like that. His mother needs him. This could all come back to bite us.”

            “But he shot at police officers! Didn’t you see what’s written in the report? If we let him go it will look incompetent…and suspicious! What if he goes and finds his abandoned gun and comes back here and shoots us all up?”

            “His mother needs him. His brother might die. He’s not a threat, and every second we keep him here is an injustice. You know that and I know that.” The cops came to a compromise. They agreed to release him as long as he signed a convoluted document verifying what had happened: that him and his brother had resisted arrest, that Jaqual had attacked officer Chovin, and that a friend of theirs (who the police hadn’t seen) had shot at the police officers while Michael ran away. They changed their story from the original fabrication so that Michael could be released without charges, and so that Jaqual wouldn’t be charged if he left the hospital.

            Russel Shotski approached the holding cell with a pen and the document and saw Michael pacing the back of the room.

            “Michael…I know this is a traumatic…time for you. And that you’ve never been arrested before and aren’t familiar with how the law works. But I can tell you now, your best strategy will be to cooperate with us.” He paused and cleared his throat.

            “I want you know that I understand and that I’m deeply sorry about what has happened. But I’m here to help. And I want the best for you.” Michael glared at Russel. Behind Russel stood two police officers with tasers pointed at Michael’s chest.

            “Here is a document explaining what happened. It describes the encounter you had with the police officers, the confusion, and your brother’s injury. We are not pressing charges. My officers in the field experienced gunfire, and we have written that it wasn’t you or your brother, but an accomplice who they couldn’t see.”

            “That’s a lie.”

            “Let me finish. If you sign this document, you can go free right now. And we’ll give you your mother’s phone. You can go see your mother and your brother. No charges will be pressed and your record will remain clean. If you don’t sign, a criminal process will begin, you risk having a criminal record, and your scholarship to Columbia University will be revoked.” This was another lie, but the officers had found a newspaper article online on Michael’s accomplishments, and decided to blackmail him. Michael felt a lump in his throat. He couldn’t pay to attend Columbia without the scholarship, his whole future depended on it. He had aspired to attend Columbia since he was twelve.

            “Give me the document.” The statement was ten pages long and the police officers had attempted to fill it with as much legal jargon as they could. But in essence the document removed the guilt of the police officers and corroborated their story. If Michael signed, he was forfeiting him and his brother’s rights to press charges.

            Michael took his time reading the document and deciphering what was being implied. The cops didn’t know that he had dreamed of becoming a lawyer since he was ten years old, that his role model in life was his godfather, Albert Garner, one of the most successful criminal defense attorneys in Brooklyn. The previous summer Michael had interned three days a week in Albert’s office. He knew how to read legal forms. When he finished he looked up to see Russel leaning towards him with a pen. Michael spit on the front page of the packet and handed it back.

            “I’m not signing this bullshit. Go fuck yourself.” Russel frowned, took the packet, and closed the door.

            “Suit yourself, kid. If you change your mind, give us another yell.”

            In the front office, the police officers became more and more anxious about what to do with Michael and with the fact they had illegally confiscated Breonna’s phone. They knew the longer they kept him locked up, the more culpable they became. They knew of Albert Garner’s reputation for destroying the careers of police officers. Derek snuck into the back room and deleted the security tape footage of the officers’ confrontation with Breonna. In the end, after two hours of discussion, the precinct decided to release Michael. They could say in the report that they released him “soon after” he was imprisoned, once he had settled down from the misunderstanding. 

            At the same time of Michael’s release, Breonna Coleman was running frantically through the streets of Bedford-Stuyvesant back to the 79th precinct to meet Albert Garner. Breonna was a Type 1 diabetic and was experiencing dangerously-low blood sugar levels. She couldn’t afford health assurance and had been buying diabetic test strips on the black market. She had run out of strips and hadn’t tested herself for twelve hours. She was still dizzy from being elbowed in the face by Russel Shotski. She felt on the verge of passing out. 

            The sun was beginning to rise. Light glinted off of windows and the metal of parked cars. Denisha’s vision was blurry and she felt shaky, but she was determined to arrive at the precinct. She stumbled on the sidewalk, then caught herself and pressed on. 

            A minute before Denisha saw the 79th, Michael was released.

            “You’re free to go,” said Russel. “And here’s your mother’s phone.” Michael thought this was some kind of trap. He thought that the police officers would tase him and say he tried to escape. But he had to take this chance.

            Ten minutes prior here had been an argument amongst the officers in the front office. The police officers who hadn’t been with the men in the field threatened to snitch on the four culprits if Michael wasn’t let go with the phone. They blamed the four men for endangering the reputation of the precinct, and wanted to rid their hands of a model citizen, a promising young man, an innocent witness to police incompetence and brutality.

            Michael cautiously walked to the front doors, with all the officers watching him. He planned to sprint home to find his mother. Outside he turned right and saw Herbert Von King Park, where he used to play as child with Jaqual, playing tag in the field near the fenced-off area for dogs. Then he saw his mother running down Tompkins Avenue. The moment they saw one another, Breonna was overcome with a rush of relief and joy. She stumbled forward, and with a sob caught in her throat uttered, “My boy.” At the same time a car was speeding down Greene Avenue, driven by a man late for work. Breonna tripped in front of the car and was struck head-on. Michael saw the body of his mother get sucked beneath the wheels.

            The driver slammed on the breaks and jumped out. “Oh my god oh my god!” He saw the mangled body of Breonna, already bleeding, and with a trembling hand took out his phone to call an ambulance. Michael arrived at his mother’s body, glanced at the driver on the phone, then wept convulsively. The driver tried speaking to him, but Michael couldn’t hear a word past “I called an ambulance.” A part of Michael knew Breonna was on the edge of death, but another part of him refused to believe it. Her lungs were punctured and she was gasping for air. Blood seeped from her mouth.

            “Mom, I’m here, I’m here. An ambulance is coming. Hold on.”

            “Michael, my boy, my love.”

            “Please hold on, you can do this mom. I’m here.”

            “I’m dying, Michael.”

            “Mom, please. Don’t-”

            “Forgive them Michael, those who hate, for they know not what they do. Please, forgive them.”

            “Mom I love you. Don’t go.” Breonna Coleman tear-filled eyes became blank as her soul passed away, to join her mother. Michael wept on her chest, feeling the world spinning around him like a shipwreck in a whirlpool. His mother’s last words echoed in his thoughts: Forgive them. But Michael, in this moment where everything he loved was taken away, felt a force rise within him that obliterated reason, that began distorting his sanity. This force, which Michael could only attribute to the will of God, refused to forgive. My mother, my church, my community, has spent centuries forgiving, thought Michael. And where has that led us? To my grandmother dead, my mother dying in my arms, my younger brother in the hospital. More victims of police brutality. I have nothing left. The ambulance arrived and took Breonna away. Albert Garner arrived and embraced Michael, simultaneously shouting at the cops who had formed around the accident. Michael didn’t hear anything. He had entered another world, another existence, and let himself be pulled and pushed this way and that. Voices reached him like distant murmurs, images passed before his eyes like blurry photographs taken in motion. He was in a car. Then he was in a hospital. More people embraced him. More people consoled him. He nodded his head. But in the depths of his oblivion, his numb despair, the devasting force was gaining magnitude. He no longer had a life. His past was a pile of ashes that he observed from some kind of purgatory border, a desolate wasteland. All he knew was that he now had a purpose. A deep purpose engulfed in savage flames. And he knew this purpose would guide him until his death.

*

            Six weeks later Breonna Coleman and her mother’s wakes occurred simultaneously in a building next to Greater Free Gift Baptist Church. Jaqual had been released from the hospital; he was completely paralyzed and strapped into a mobile machine. He could only move his eyes.

            Support and condolences poured in from all over the world. A GoFundMe account had raised over $100,000 for Michael and his brother. Journalists had written stories. News anchors had looked disappointed on television. Michael had let Albert Garner take care of all the details.

            At the wake, where Breonna and her mother’s caskets lay, the room was full of flowers. A line out the door was over half a mile long. Many of the Concord Nursing Home residents journeyed to the wake to pay their respects. But they did not find their helpful boy with a charming smile. Their boy was gone. They found a completely different man who either ignored them or glanced up at them with eyes of steel.

            Michael was sitting in a chair between his mother and grandmother’s casket, reading a tattered copy of The Autobiography of Malcolm X. People tried to engage him in conversation, but he kept on reading.

            Relatives, including Albert Garner, looked at each other with sad concern, trying to convince each other to say something to the victim. Finally, a distant cousin named George Floyd put his hand on Michael’s shoulder.

            “I know you’ve been through a lot, brother, but quit ignoring everybody. It’s not right.” Michael calmly looked up and stared hard at his cousin. George unconsciously backed away.

            “You see this book, George? You know when I got this book?”

            “Course I don’t know Michael. But-”

            “You wouldn’t know. You weren’t there. My mother gave it to me as a birthday present when I was ten. It was just her, me, and Jaqual. She told me, ‘This is all I can get you for your birthday, Michael. There’s no money left for more presents. But you will learn in this book that money isn’t what makes a man, nor outward success, nor prizes, nor recognition. It’s character and purpose. Never forget that.’ I read it for the first time that night. It was the best birthday present I ever received.”

            George nodded and walked away. Michael stood up and put his hand on Jaqual’s shoulder, waiting for Jaqual’s eyes to find him. Jaqual’s pupils shifted and for a moment Michael remembered running with him when they were young, drawing lines on the pavement and racing each other. Jaqual would never run again. Nausea twisted in Michael’s stomach. 

            “I’ll be right back, brother.” Michael walked to the back of the room where he had seen his uncle Jamarcus leave out the back door.

            Jamarcus, who wore a black durag, a Notorious B.I.G. t-shirt, and baggy jeans, was smoking a cigarette and fidgeting against a wall.

            “Uncle Ja, can I talk with you alone for a minute?”

            “Speak.”

            “I know we haven’t been too close. You being incarcerated during most of my adolescence…”

            “Ain’t your fault brother.’

            “I know that but…but I was wondering if you could help me out.”

            “Anything.”

            “I always knew, through ma, that you had connections…” Jamarcus inhaled his cigarette and looked off into the distance.

            “Yeh I know people.”

            “I’m talking about dangerous, criminal connections. People who can get things like…assault weapons, explosives, body amour.”

            “Oh no fucking way. Not you Michael.”

            “Listen, hear me out.” Jamarcus looked over his shoulder and around the corner of the building.

            “Is this really the goddamn time? Look I’m not getting’ you none of that. You’re the best hope this family’s got. I messed my life up. But you still got yours.”

            “No Uncle Ja. I don’t.”

            “The answer’s no. End of discussion. I’m not bringing you into that underworld. You got money now. Al’s gonna bring those police bastards to court. Columbia will let you in. Practically the whole city’s on your side. Don’t throw it all away on revenge, on violence.” Michael’s eyes became like steel again, and Jamarcus felt the strength of his nephew’s conviction hit him like a fist.

            “I’m only going to say this once, Uncle Ja, because I need to get back to my mother and grannie’s caskets. But I am going to get a hold of weapons and explosives, one way or another. Nothing will stop me. I know some petty criminals in the neighborhood, and some of my shady classmates from high school, but I don’t trust them, and I’d rather not go through them. They know what’s happened and they’ll probably betray me. But if it’s the only option I have, I’ll take it. I’d rather go through you, through family, someone I can trust. It’s up to you.”

            “Jesus Christ, this isn’t the way…”

            “Isn’t the way?” Michal felt the force rise within his chest, and a rage consume his tortured spirit. “Yeah I got money. Yeah I can go to Columbia. Take classes with privileged, upper-class kids, hear privileged teachers drone on about what it will take to succeed in their system. Yeah I can go to law school, get a job, make more money, have people congratulate me on making it out. Play the goddamn game. But then what? Read about another innocent kid killed in the streets? Worry about my son going out at night? These crimes have been happening for centuries, Uncle Ja, and I’m sick and tired of it. My life doesn’t matter anymore. All that makes is that I get justice for my brother, my mother, and grannie, that I make the world finally understand.” Jamarcus had tears in his eyes. He sighed.

            “But your godfather’s gonna get justice for you. He’s already-”

            “No he won’t. Not enough. I’ve already talked with him. The police covered their backs. The police officer who paralyzed Jaqual will go free. The cop who locked me up will be able to get off. They have the system on their side, Uncle Ja, and we can’t win. The social contract they talk about it is broken. It’s time for us to make the rules. I don’t want pity. I don’t want charity. I want real change. And now I have an opportunity to make a real difference, not as a victim eating the scraps off the table of what they call the law, but as a man who’s going to show them that they can’t away with this anymore. Is it yes or no? I gotta get back.” Jamarcus, who had spent years dealing with the most hardened criminals, stared deep into his nephew’s eyes to see how serious he was. He couldn’t find a sliver of doubt.

            “All right. I’ll introduce you to someone you can trust…who can get you…what you want. Meet me at my crib tomorrow night.”

            “Thank you Uncle Ja. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Michael started to open the door.

            “Wait, before you go, what you gonna do? What’re you planning?” Michael turned and for the first time in six weeks, smiled. But it was a cruel smile that made Jamarcus wonder what his nephew had become.

            “I’m gonna burn this shit down.”

          

           

End of Part 1, Part 2 coming soon. Subscribe below to receive an email when Part 2 is released:

Confession of Meeting a Boring Murakami

            I met that elderly author, Haruki Murakami, in a small, Japanese-style town outside of Kyoto, some three years ago. He was boring or, more precisely, very boring, but I happened to spend a night in his company.

            I was travelling around in Japan, wherever the spirits or my Lonely Planet guide book led me, when I received an email from Murakami to meet for a beer. I knew from his books that Murakami likes beer. But why would he send an email to a nobody like me to meet for a drink? I had no idea.

            It was already past 8 p.m. when I arrived at the town and got off the train. Autumn was nearly over, the sun had long since set, and the place was enveloped in that dark-blue darkness particular to places where the sun has set. A cold, biting wind blew from somewhere, sending formless pieces of trash rustling along the street.

            I walked through the center of town in search of a place to stay, before meeting the famous author, but none of the decent inns would take in guests after the dinner hour had passed. I stopped at five or six places, but they all turned me down flat. Finally, in a deserted area outside town, I came across an inn that would take me. It was a desolate-looking, ramshackle place, almost a flophouse. It had seen a lot of years go by, but it had none of the quaint appeal you might expect in an old inn. Fittings here and there were ever so slightly slanted, as if slapdash repairs had been made that didn’t mesh with the rest of the place. I doubted it would make it through the next earthquake, and I could only hope that no temblor would hit while I was there.

            The inn didn’t serve dinner, but breakfast was included, and the rate for one night was incredibly cheap. Inside the entrance was a plain reception desk, behind which sat a completely hairless old man – devoid of even eyebrows – who took my payment for one night in advance. The lack of eyebrows made the old man’s largish eyes seem to glisten bizarrely, glaringly. On a cushion on the floor beside him, a big brown cat, equally ancient, was sacked out, sound asleep. Haruki would like that cat, I thought. He would probably write ten, boring pages about it. The cat was snoring loud. There was probably something wrong with it. Everything in this inn seemed to be falling apart.

            The room I was shown to was cramped, like the storage area where one keeps futon bedding; the ceiling light was dim, and the flooring under the tatami creaked ominously with each step. But it was too late to be particular. I told myself I should be happy to have a roof over my head, a futon to sleep on, and a famous author contacting me for god knows what.

            I put my one piece of luggage, a suitcase, down on the floor and set off back to town. (This wasn’t exactly the type of room I wanted to lounge around in, especially when I had an approaching rendezvous.) I went into a nearby soba-noodle shop and had a simple dinner. I didn’t want to have an empty stomach before drinking with Haruki, because I think he drinks like a fish. It was that soup or nothing, since there were no other restaurants open. I had a beer with the dinner, some bar snacks, and some hot soba. The soba was mediocre, the soup lukewarm, but again, I wasn’t about to complain. It beat going to bed later on just beer and vomiting in the morning, because who knows if Haruki would give me food. After I left the soba shop, I thought I’d buy some snacks and a small bottle of whisky to give to Haruki (he likes whiskey), but I couldn’t find a convenience store. It was after nine, and the only places open were the shooting-gallery game centers typically found in the town (according to my guide book). So I hoofed it to the address Murakami had sent me. Our rendezvous was for 9:37pm.

            Compared with the shabby neighborhood where I was staying, the area where Murakami wanted to meet was surprisingly wonderful. The homes, which looked like Buddhist temples, were spaced far apart, the streets were clean, and the atmosphere was quiet and peaceful.

            I was approaching a house when a man seemed to appear out of nowhere at my side. Was he hiding in the bushes? “Excuse me,” he said in a low voice. I was about to shout and run away, when I realized it was Haruki. He gazed intently at my face, his eyes narrowed, for all the world like an anthropologist studying an indigenous native of a long-lost tribe.

            “How is the thing?” he asked me.

            “Um, what thing?”

            “The thing.” I was embarrassed, so I replied,

            “It’s very nice. Thank you.” My voice reverberated densely, softly, in the night air. It sounded almost mythological, not like my own voice but, rather, like an echo from the past returning from deep in the forest. And that echo was…hold on a second. What was Murakami doing here on the street? Why wouldn’t he wait for me inside his home?

            “Shall I help you become a better writer?” he asked, his voice still low. He had the clear, alluring voice of a baritone in a doo-wop group. But nothing was odd about his voice: if you closed your eyes and listened, you’d think it was an ordinary person speaking.

            “Yes, thanks,” I replied. It wasn’t as if I’d been waiting all my life hoping that Murakami would give me writing advice, but if I turned him down I was afraid he might not invite me inside for a beer. I figured it was a kind offer on his part, and I certainly didn’t want to hurt his feelings. So I nodded and added, “Please, help me write, as…as good as you,” and followed him into his yard then his house.

            There was no furniture inside the house except a refrigerator in the center of a big room. Haruki opened it and gave me a beer.

            “It’s got very cold these days, hasn’t it?”

            “That it has.”

            “Before long this place will be covered in snow. And then they’ll have to shovel snow from the roofs, which is no easy task, believe me.”

            There was a brief pause, and I jumped in. “So how do you write so many books that are so interesting?”

            “I just do it,” Haruki replied briskly. He probably often received questions like this and was annoyed with them. “I started writing at the age of twenty-nine, because I felt like it, and before I knew it I was selling millions of books and winning awards. I lived for quite a long time without writing, around Tokyo, working in a coffee house and a jazz bar.

            “What part of Tokyo?”

            “Kokubunji.”

            “That’s a nice area.”

            “Yes, it is a pleasant residential area with excellent transportation links. There are many parks and it is a popular location for young families.”

            Our conversation paused at this point. Haruki continued drinking his beer (I did too) and all the while I tried to puzzle things out rationally. Why was I here? Why did he invite me? Did he want something? How did he even think to contact me? This was Haruki Murakami, for goodness’ sake. 

            “I grew up in America,” I said, a basically meaningless statement.

            “I know. Americans buy millions of my books. I like that,” he said in a friendly tone.

            “What else did you think of Kokubunji when you lived there?”

            “Well, even though it is a nice place to raise a family, my wife and I decided not to have children.” This wasn’t really the answer to my question. 

            “You wanted to dedicate everything to literature?” He frowned.

            “No. We made this decision before I started writing.”

            “Oh.”

            “I like music though. Especially classical music you’ve never heard of. I’m very cultured and refined.” I decided to continue with this topic of conversation, because I knew from Murakami’s books that he was always name-dropping classical songs and writing boring pages about his opinions on composers.

            “Like who?”

            “Bruckner and Richard Strauss.”

            “You enjoy Bruckner. I often listen to Bruckner!” (I’d never heard of him.)

            “Yes. His Seventh Symphony. I always find the third movement particularly uplifting.”

            “I…um…often listen to his Ninth Symphony,” I chimed in. (I hoped Brucker wrote at least that many.)

            “Yes, that’s truly lovely music,” (Phew.)

            “So why didn’t you have any children?”

            “I am a very patient person, a person who values order and regularity above all, so no kids for me. Kids are chaos. I am a serious person whose favorite saying is that the repetition of accurate facts is the true road to wisdom. My wife is a quiet, sweet person, always kind to me. We get along well, and I hesitate to mention this to a stranger like you, but, believe me, my nighttime activities can be quite intense.”

            “Really,” I said.

            Haruki started to walk out of the room. “Thanks for your patience and for visiting me,” he said, and bowed his head. I thought his polite gratitude very Japanese.

            “Thank you,” I said. “What you said just now was…good. So, do you live in this house?”

            “I do. Sometimes. I sleep on the floor in the other room. The neighbors are kind and leave me alone. I can’t live in cities anymore. Too much attention. Here, the people don’t care if I’m a famous writer or not. They let me work and drink my beer without taking photographs.” I knew Haruki was known for being a recluse (in Japan), among other things.

            “Have you been working and drinking here for a long time?” I asked.

            “It’s been about thirteen years, off and on.”

            “But you must have gone through all sorts of things before you arrived here.”

            Haruki gave a quick nod. “Very true.”

            I hesitated, but then came out and asked him, “If you don’t mind, could you tell me why I’m here? Why you invited me?”

            Haruki considered this, and then said, “Yes, you are right to ask me that. It might not be as interesting as you expect, but I’d prefer to tell you later tonight, at a different location. Would that be convenient?”

            “Certainly,” I replied. “I’d be grateful if we also drank beer then.” (It would make his boring conversation more enjoyable.)

            “Understood. Some cold beers it is. Would Sapporo be all right?” I knew there was Sapporo at my inn.

            “That would be fine. So you like beer?”

            “A little bit, yes.”

            “Then please bring two large bottles.”

            “Of course. If I understand correctly, you are staying in the Araiso Suite, on the second floor? Let’s drink there.” This scared me a bit.

            “Ah, that’s right.”

            “It’s a little strange, though, don’t you think?” Haruki said. I thought he was going to explain how he knew where I was staying, but I was wrong. “An inn in the mountains with a room named araiso – ‘rugged shore.’” He chuckled. I’d never in my life thought I’d hear Haruki Murakami chuckle. But I guess famous authors do laugh, and even cry, at times. It shouldn’t have surprised me, given that famous authors are human too.

            “By the way, should I call you Haruki, or Mr. Murakami?”

            “Just call me friend.”

            Haruki finished his beer, put the bottle in the fridge, turned, and gave a polite bow, then walked deeper into the house and disappeared.

            It was a little past eleven when Haruki came to the Araiso Suite, bearing a tray with two large bottles of beer. I assumed he had got them from downstairs. In addition to the beer, the tray held a bottle opener, two glasses, and some snacks: dried seasoned squid and a bag of kakipi– rice crackers with peanuts. Typical bar snacks. This was one author who knew how to throw a party!

            Haruki was dressed in a peculiar way: gray sweatpants and a thick, long-sleeved shirt with “I <3 NY” printed on it, probably some kid’s hand-me-downs. Weird.

            There was no table in the room, so we sat, side by side, on some thin zabuton cushions, and leaned back against the wall. Haruki used the opener to pop the cap off one of the beers and poured our two glasses. Silently we clinked our glasses together in a little toast.

            “Thanks for the drinks,” Haruki said, and happily gulped the cold beer. I thought this was odd to say, since he brought the beer, but I went with it. Maybe he had charged them to my room? I drank some as well. Honestly, it felt strange to be seated next to Haruki Murakami, sharing a beer, but I guess you get used to it.

            “A beer after work can’t be beat,” said Haruki, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “But, for a famous author, the opportunities to have a beer with a nobody-writer like you are few and far between, believe it or not.”

            “How often do you contact nobody-writers like me?”

            “Once every couple of years.”

            “Oh.”

            Haruki had finished his first glass, so I poured him another.

            “Much obliged,” he said politely.

            “Where is your wife right now?” I asked.

            “She’s with…a friend,” Haruki answered, his face clouding over slightly. The wrinkles beside his eyes formed deep folds. “Whenever she wants to meet with a friend, go on trips or vacations with him, I contact nobody-writers who I discover on the internet. I don’t have friends. For years I thought I could live peaceably without friends, but that didn’t work. People were kind to me, but I just couldn’t connect with them, I just couldn’t express my feelings well to them. We had little in common, and communication wasn’t easy. ‘You talk funny,’ they told me, ‘You’re so boring,’ and they sort of mocked and bullied me. Women would giggle when they looked at me. I am extremely sensitive, as you probably know from my best-selling books. Women found the way I acted comical, and it annoyed them, irritated them sometimes. It got harder for me to be around people, so eventually I went off on my own. But I needed connection, so I started contacting random bloggers to meet me for a drink.”

            “It must have been lonely for you, before contacting nobody-writers.”

            “Indeed it was. I had to emotionally-survive on my own when my wife was busy or traveling. But the worse thing was not having anyone to communicate with. I couldn’t talk with people. Isolation like that is heartrending. The world is full of humans, but I couldn’t start up a conversation with whomever I happened to come across. Do that and there’d be hell to pay. The upshot was that I wound up sort of neither here nor there, not part of the common herd, nor part of the literary elite. It was a harrowing existence.” (Boring, I thought, Time to change the subject.)

            “And you didn’t know about Bruckner, then.”

            “True. That’s part of my life now,” Haruki said, and drank some more beer. I studied his face. It was red, so I assumed he was drunk. I had figured Haruki could hold his liquor, but I guess I was wrong. Or maybe Haruki’s face turned red whenever he was drinking, no matter what the quantity.

            “The other thing that tormented me, before I married, was my relations with females.”

            “I see,” I said. “And by ‘relations’ with females you mean – ?”

            “In short, I didn’t feel a speck of sexual desire for women. I had a lot of opportunities to be physical with them, but never really felt like it. I guess I regret not doing anything.”

            “So women didn’t turn you on, even though you liked them?”


            “Yes. That’s exactly right. It’s embarrassing, but, honestly, I could only be sexually attracted to a woman I loved. And I’ve only ever loved my wife.”

            I was silent and drained my glass of beer. I opened the bag of crunchy snacks and grabbed a handful. “That could lead to some real complications, I would think.”

            “Yes, real complications, indeed. Me being a sensitive and shy, there was no way I could expect women to understand my complicated desire. Plus, it runs counter to culture, where young men are supposed to have relations with many women, ‘sow their wild oats,’ they say.”

            I waited for the beer to make his conversation less boring. Haruki rubbed hard behind his ear and continued.

            “And now…” He squinted his eyes. “So I found another method of dealing with my complex desire.”

            “What do you mean by ‘another method.’”

            Haruki frowned deeply. His red face turned a bit darker.

            “You may not believe me,” Haruki said. “You probably won’t believe me, I should say. But, from a certain point, after I was married, I started using the experiences I had with women from my past, combined with the feelings I have for my wife, to create literature.”

            “How?”

            “I seem to have been born with a special talent for it. I can write from memory, add in dream-live, abstract elements, and people like it.”

            A wave of confusion hit me. Haruki wasn’t making any sense.

            “I’m not sure I get it,” I said. “When you say you mix your memories with dream-like elements, does that mean your stories aren’t supposed to have any meaning?”

            “No. They don’t lose their meaning. I write about my past, a fragment. But when I mix in a dream-like element it becomes less substantial, lighter than before. So I can go deeper in the memory despite the pain. Like when the sun clouds over and your shadow on the ground gets that much paler. And, depending on the memory, I become less aware of the loss. The pain transforms into a sense that something’s a little off, but also bearable.”

            “But do the women you write about know what you’re doing? That you are using their past for your literature?”

            “Yes, of course, some of them do. But most of the time the women have forgotten me. Quite a shock to the ego, as you might imagine. And when they read my stories, if they even do, they may not even recognize the character as themselves. In some cases, they suffer through something close to an identity crisis, one of them told me. And it’s all my fault, since I took the experience I had with them and turned it into literature. I feel very sorry about that. I often feel the weight of a guilty conscious bearing down on me. I know it’s wrong, yet I can’t stop myself. I’m not trying to excuse my actions, but my dopamine levels force me to do it. Like there’s a voice telling me, “Hey, go ahead, write that senseless dream sequence mixed with your past with a woman. It’s not illegal or anything, and millions of people will buy your books anyway.”

            I folded my arms and studied the famous author. Dopamine? Finally, I spoke up. “And the women you write about, they are the ones you had intimate experiences with but never loved. Do I have that right?”

            “Exactly.”

            “How many women?”

            With a serious expression, Haruki totaled it up on his fingers. As he counted, he was muttering something. He looked up. “Seven in all. I have been intimately involved with seven women before my wife.”

            Was this a lot, or not so many? Who could say?

            “So how do you do it?” I asked, “Combine your past experiences with dream-like elements?”

            “It’s mostly by will power. Power of concentration, psychic energy. But that’s not enough. I need to meet with a nobody-writer to talk about what I do, before I can actually do it. Communication is the path to understanding. Because we, you and I, have no connection to each other, I can talk freely. I’m pretty skilled at talking freely about my writing.”

            “So when you need inspiration you contact a nobody-writer on the internet?

            “Precisely. I stumbled upon your blog by chance, and since I’m working on a story now and my wife is with her…friend, I sent you an email. Now I can go back to writing.”

            “So that’s it? You’re using me for literature?”

            Haruki nodded sharply. “I know it sounds lowly, but I never do anything unseemly. You won’t be in my books explicitly. I agree it’s a bit strange, but it’s also a completely pure, platonic act. I simply have a beer with a stranger, secretly, talk and talk, and it helps me write. For me, this experience is like a gentle breeze wafting over a meadow.”

            “Hmm,” I said, dreadfully bored. “I guess you could even call your complex desire, your past inability to feel sexual attraction without loving a woman, the ultimate form of romantic love.”

            “Agreed. But it’s also the ultimate form of loneliness (Here we go again, I thought. Murakami and his goddamn loneliness). Like two sides of a coin. The two extremes are stuck together and can never be separated.”

            Our conversation came to a halt here, and Haruki and I silently drank our beer, snacking on the kakipi and the dried squid.

            “Have you written about a woman from your past recently?” I asked.

            Haruki shook his head. He grabbed some hair on his head, as if making sure that he still had hair. “No, I haven’t written about a woman from my past recently. Soon, though. That’s why I contacted you. Thanks to this encounter, I have found a measure of clarity and peace. I will be able to write about the woman now, one of the seven women in my heart.”

            “I’m glad to hear it,” I lied.

            “I know this is quite forward of me, but I was wondering if you’d be kind enough to allow me to give my opinion on the subject of love.” Oh god no. Could he get any more boring? I saw that there was still some beer. I nodded my head and began chugging.

            “I believe that love is indispensable fuel for us to go on living. Someday that love may end. Or it may never amount to anything. But even if love fades away, even if it’s unrequited, you can still hold on to the memory of having loved someone, of having fallen in love with someone. And that’s a valuable source of warmth. Without that heat source, a person’ heart – including my heart – would turn into a bitterly cold, barren wasteland. A place where not a ray of sunlight falls, where the wildflowers of peace, the trees of hope, have no chance to grow.” He seemed to be reciting something he had recently written, or was about to write. “Here in my heart, I treasure the names of those seven women I tried to love, but failed, or can’t love anymore.” Haruki laid a palm on his chest. “I plan to use these memories, along with random encounters such as this one, as my own little fuel source to burn on cold nights, to keep me warm as I live on what’s left of my own little life.”

            Haruki chuckled again, and lightly shook his head a few times.

            “That’s a strange way of putting it, isn’t it?” he said, “Little life. Given that I’m a famous author, with supposedly a big life. Hee hee!”

            It was past midnight when we finally finished drinking the two large bottles of beer. “I should be going,” Haruki said. “I got to feeling so good I ran off at the mouth, I’m afraid. My apologies.”

            “No, I didn’t mind,” I lied. At least he was conscious of how much he been blabbering on. But I mean, sharing beer and chatting with a famous author was a pretty unusual experience in and of itself. I should be more thankful. Add to that the fact that this famous author contacted me randomly online, loved name-dropping classical composers, and writes about the same, seven women from his past because he had intimate experiences with them (but didn’t love them). 

            As we said goodbye, I handed Haruki a small bottle of whiskey that I had stolen from the closed-down bar when I arrived back at the inn. “It’s not much,” I said, “but please enjoy this whiskey.”

            At first Haruki refused, but I insisted and he finally accepted it. He put the bottle in the pocket of his sweatpants.

            “It’s very kind of you,” he said. “You’ve listened to my absurd life story and writing process, treated me to beer, and now this generous gesture.” (But it was him who brought the beer, maybe he was drunk, or maybe he did charge my room.) “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.”

            Haruki put the empty beer bottles and glasses on the tray and carried it out of the room.

            The next morning, I checked out of the inn and went to Tokyo. At the front desk, the creepy old man with no hair or eyebrows was nowhere to be seen, nor was the aged cat who snored loudly. Instead, there was a fat, surly middle-aged woman, and when I said I’d like to pay the additional charges for last night’s bottles of beer (I assumed Haruki had charged them to my room, since he kept thanking me for the beer), she said, emphatically, that there were no incidental charges on my bill. “All we have here is canned beer from the vending machine,” she insisted. “We never provide bottled beer.”

            Once again I was confused. I felt as though bits of reality and unreality were randomly changing places. Nonetheless, how kind of Murakami to buy me beer!

            I was going to bring up Haruki Murakami with the middle-aged woman, but decided against it. Maybe Haruki didn’t actually visit me, maybe the man was an imposter, and it had all been an illusion, the product of a lonely, Japanese man who looked just like Murakami preying on nobody-writers like me. Or maybe what I saw was a strange, realistic dream (thinking about Murakami so much has really made my thoughts more dream-like). If I came out with something like, “Last night the famous author Haruki Murakami visited me in my room,” things might go sideways, and, worst-case scenario, she’d think I was insane. Chances were that Murakami was a town secret, and the inn couldn’t acknowledge him publicly for fear of him moving away or getting angry.

            On the train ride to Tokyo, I mentally replayed everything Haruki Murakami told me. I jotted down the details, as best I could remember, in a notebook that I used for work, thinking that when I got back to Tokyo I’d write the whole thing as a blog post from start to finish.

            If Haruki Murakami actually met me– and that was the only way I could see it – I wasn’t at all sure how much I should accept of what he had told me over beer. It was hard to judge his story fairly. Was it really possible that he used his experiences from women in the past to write literature? Were the dream-like elements in his stories just cheap, easy ways to cope with his memories and pain? Maybe Haruki was a pathological liar. Who could say? Naturally, there are numerous famous authors with mythomania, but, if Murakami harnessed his sickness to sell millions of books, who cares if he is a habitual liar who bizarrely contacts nobody-writers for a beer and to hear himself talk?

            I’d encountered thousands of people working as a bartender in New York City during my twenties, and had become pretty good at sniffing out who could be believed and who couldn’t. A bullshit detector, you can call it. When someone talks for a while, you can pick up certain subtle hinds and signals and get an intuitive sense of whether or not the person is believable. And I just didn’t get the feeling that what Haruki was telling me was made-up bullshit. Then again, he also worked in a restaurant for years, so maybe he had developed a way to skillfully bullshit gullible people, undetected. But the look in his eyes and his expression, the way he pondered things every once in a while, his pauses, gestures, the way he’d get stuck for words – despite being boring, nothing about it seemed artificial or forced. And, above all, there was the total, even painful honesty of his confession.

            My relaxed solo journey over, I returned to the whirlwind routine of ex-pat life in a city. Even when I don’t have any major work-related assignments, somehow, as I get older, I find myself busier than ever. And time seems to steadily speed up. In the end I never told anyone about meeting Haruki Murakami, or wrote anything about him. Why try if no one would believe me? Unless I could provide proof – proof, that is, that Haruki contacted other nobody-writers for beer – people would just say that I was “making stuff up again.” And if I wrote about him as fiction the story would lack a clear focus or point, and look like I was just complaining about his writing being so boring, and not understanding why so many readers praise and read his books, when I find them achingly dull. I could well imagine a reader of my blog looking puzzled while reading my post, saying to themselves, “I hesitate to ask, since you’re the author of this post, but what is the theme of this story supposed to be?”

            Theme? Can’t say there is one. It’s just a confession about an old, famous writer who pumps out boring books and asks nobody-writers to meet him for beer in a tiny town outside Kyoto, who feels nostalgia for the women he had intimate experiences with but never loved. Where’s the theme in that? Or the moral?

            And, as time passed, the memory of my Murakami encounter began to fade. No matter how vivid memories may be, they can’t conquer time.

            But now, three years later, I’ve decided to write about it, based on notes I scribbled down back then. All because something happened recently that got me thinking. If that incident hadn’t taken place, I might well not be writing this.

            I had a journalism networking event in the coffee lounge of hotel in Akasaka. Near the end of the event I was talking to an old woman, the editor of a travel magazine. Despite being old, she was attractive: long hair, a lovely complexion, and large, fetching eyes. She was one of those passionate, energetic, ageless humans, who still have sexual appeal even when they’re elderly. She was an able editor. And still single. I think she wanted to sleep with me. We’d worked together quite a few times, and got along well. We sat in a corner and chatted over coffee for a while.

            Her cell phone rang and she looked at me apologetically. I motioned to her to take the call. She checked the incoming number and answered it. It seemed to be someone important. She talked for a while in Japanese, checking her pocket planner, and then shot me a mischievous look.

            “It’s Haruki Murakami,” she said to me in an excited voice, her hand covering the phone. “We used to date a lifetime ago.”

            I gasped, but, as casually as I could, I took a sip of coffee. She nodded and relayed information to the famous author on the other end of the line. Then she hung up and giggled.

            “We dated when we were teenagers.”

            “Does he call you often?” I asked.

            She seemed to hesitate, but finally nodded. “Yes, it’s happening a lot these days. I don’t know why.”

            “Does he miss you?”

            She shook her head decisively. “No, not at all. We’ve always been on platonic terms since we broke up. He loves his wife. He’s faithful. But sometimes we meet up in secret. I’ve never been able to figure him out. When we were together, he was so distant. After, when we became sort-of friends, there was this animal hunger about him. As if he desperately wanted to get closer, but just couldn’t. Maybe I’m crazy.”

            “No, I don’t think you are.”

            She squinted and thought more about it. “About half a year ago, I think, I remember I went to visit a cherry blossom orchard, near where I grew up. It was the place where Haruki and I first kissed. When I arrived he was there, wandering around the trees, with tears on his cheeks. He didn’t see me. I was so scared when I saw him, I ran away.”

            “This might be an odd thing to ask, but, when you’ve read his books, did you ever notice that some of the characters were based off of you?”

            She pursed her lips, then smiled. “I’ve never read his books. I’ve tried, but I just can’t. They are all so boring. Banal. He writes for the masses, particularly the western masses. We have a word for what he writes, in Japanese: batakusai, which means “stinking of butter.” His writing is a mish-mash of katakana and hiragana, using borrowed western terms, and his stories have no point.” 

            She took a sip of coffee. I waited for her to go on.

            “It’s a shame that he’s become the face of Japan to many westerners. He’s not really Japanese. Did you know that he says he found his voice by writing the first pages of first novel in English – then translating them into Japanese? As he gets older, his readers get younger. He’s a commercial writer, a sell-out. Not real literature.”

            I sighed quietly, but said nothing.

            “I sound like I’m bitter, right? It’s just that I’ve tried all my life to create beautiful, Japanese prose. I remember when Haruki and I were dating we talked about books all the time, about beautiful books and beautiful prose. Now he churns out vague, stinking butter.”

            “When’s the last time you met him in person?”

            “A few years ago. I forgot exactly when. It was in a small town outside of Kyoto.”

            I quickly shook my head. I wondered if I should bring up the story of my meeting with Murakami in a small town of outside of Kyoto, three years ago.

            “Hmm.”

            She looked suspicious. I knew it was risky, but there was one more vital question I had to ask.

            “What did you talk about?”

            “He told me he had just met with an American writer and was feeling inspired.”

            “Inspired?” 

            She shook her head. “Yeah, but the conversation was boring, as usual, I don’t remember anything else. He talked a lot.”

            Did Murakami meet her soon after our meeting? Maybe even the day after? Did he actually use my experience with him, then his experience with her, to write another boring book? Or was I making this all up in my head, and going crazy?

            I really didn’t want to think that Murakami was writing book after book using experiences with women from his past and nobody-writers. But he told me, quite matter-of-factly, that having seven women from his past was plenty of enough material, and that he was satisfied simply living out his remaining years quietly, occasionally vising that little town. And he’d seemed to mean it. But maybe Haruki had a chronic psychological condition, one that reason alone couldn’t hold in check. And maybe his illness, and his dopamine, were urging him to just do it! And perhaps all that had brought him to contact old girlfriends and nobody-writers, a pernicious habit.

            Maybe I’ll try it myself sometime. On sleepless nights, that random, fanciful thought sometimes comes to me. I’ll take a memory of a woman who I used to be with, focus on it like laser, contact a nobody-writer, then use a conversation about the process to pull dream-like, abstract literature out of me. What would that feel like? Could I also sell millions of books?

            No. That’ll never happen. I’ve never been skillful at weaving vague, dream-like paragraphs that have no sense but exude a bizarre atmosphere that tickles the fancy of western, literary critics. And I don’t care about the women from my past. Even if I could do that, readers would think I was just copying Murakami, because he did it first.

            Extreme love, extreme loneliness. The time-worn tropes. Even since I met Murakami, whenever I hear someone name-drop a classical composer who I’ve never heard of then spend ten minutes praising a symphony, I think of him. I picture the elderly, famous writer in that tiny, decrepit town, jumping out of the bushes, asking me “How is the thing?” And I think of the snacks – the kakipi and the dried squid – that I consumed as we drank beer together, propped up against the wall, while Haruki droned on and on.            

            I haven’t seen the beautiful, elderly travel-magazine editor since then, so I have no idea what fate befell her after that, or if she’s dead. I hope she never learned that Murakami uses their past experiences together for literature. She was blameless, after all. Nothing was her fault. I do feel bad for her, but I still can’t bring myself to tell her, if she’s still alive, about what Murakami is doing. Then again, she probably wouldn’t care, anyway, since she doesn’t read his boring books and calls them stinking butter.      

      

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What is Lost in Translation?

(A Brief Analysis of Two English Translations of the Opening Paragraph of Heinrich Von Kleist’s Michael Kohlhaas)

            A few months ago I was introduced by the love of my life to the German writer, Heinrich Von Kleist. I immediately became obsessed with his work. I read everything he wrote, including a biography and all his letters, and I consider him a literary friend who will always be there for me from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death gives me the chance to schedule a rendez-vous with him in hell.

            But I was lucky. I had encountered a magnificent translation of Kleist’s work by David Luke. You can read all about David Luke and his life in this Independent article. But here’s an excerpt:

           “His [Luke] verse translations all render into English not only the sense of the original with meticulous accuracy but make as close an approximation as is possible to the verse forms of the German, of which there are a huge range, even within Faust. All are remarkable achievements; the very best of them succeed magnificently in conveying the great beauty of the German language in the hands of the finest writers. For decades, reviewer after reviewer (including poets such as Stephen Spender and D.J. Enright), praised David Luke’s acutely sensitive ear and his tremendous linguistic dexterity. In 2000 the German-British Forum presented him with a medal in honour of his contribution to cultural understanding between the two nations.”

            I became so obsessed with Kleist that after finishing his masterpiece, Michael Kohlhaas, for the third time, I ordered a hard copy of the book on Amazon, to give my burning retinas a rest and to have a physical child I could actually hold. When the book arrived in the mail my hands were trembling. I tore open the package, jumped on to the coach to go for ride, and began reading…

            And while reading the first paragraph I was filled with a rising, sickening sense of revulsion. In my hands was a different book. This was not Kleist. This was not Michael Kohlhaas. After three pages, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was reading garbage, an airport novel full of clichés and detectives; a shit book with a hack title like: Jack Knish Hunts For Redemption. I threw the book across the room and stormed out of my apartment. I collapsed in the middle of the street, cars honking and speeding by (Qu’est-ce que vous faites, connard !), and wept bitter tears at the horrible mediocrity that pervades so much of this finite and imperfect world…

            A few days later I began to wonder why I had felt such disgust reading Frances A. King’s translation of Kleist. What was it about the translation? So I began to compare King’s translation with Luke’s translation. Below is what I discovered and the conclusions that I’ve made concerning the art of translation.

            To be a great translator, you must keep three ideas in your head at all times while translating a work:

  1. Who was the writer? 

Who was Henrich Von Kleist? The answer is complex, of course, but there are some adjectives we can use: intense, tortured, curious, adventuresome, lonely, hyper-sensitive, extremely intelligent, and wild. His first tutor described him as having a “mind of undampened fire.” Kleist was known for having shattering episodes of depression. His heart had been broken by his first love. His parents were dead before he was 15. He was a prisoner of war. His only remaining family (sister) abandoned him. He felt like he should have been living in another period of human history. He loved to travel, but he also desired to settle down in the wilderness and write. He committed suicide with a lover (or perhaps a close friend, biographers aren’t certain, Kleist was mysterious) at age 34. All these details and parts of his personality must be kept in mind as the translator engages in word choice, the rhythm of phrases, and the expression of complex ideas.

2.) In what period of human history was the writer working in?

Kleist was writing at the end of the 1700s and the beginning of the 1800s. He was a contemporary of Goethe. Goethe expressed horror and disgust after reading Kleist’s prose, calling Kleist’s writing “diseased” because it showed “the unlovely and frightening in Nature.” He condemned the violence of Kleist’s theories and for finding life “a labyrinth to which reason, faith and feeling were uncertain guides.” Kleist was writing during the romantic period of literature in Germany. Enlightenment ideas were on the rise (rationality, objectivity, reform movements, etc.). In 1793, the execution of the French king and the onset of The Terror disillusioned the Bildungsbürgertum (Prussian middle classes). Around 1800 the Catholic monasteries, which had large land holdings, were nationalized and sold off by the government. Europe was racked by two decades of war. All these events and more must be known by the translator so they can have a sense of the writer’s setting. But a great translator must also read other books written during the same time period (and their best translations), to get a sense of what words and phrases are being chosen.

3.) What is the context of the story itself? Who are the characters and what do they stand for?

Michael Kohlhaas is based on the 16thcentury story of Hans Kohlhase (a merchant whose grievance against a Saxon nobleman developed into a full-blown feud against the state of Saxony, thus infringing the Eternal Peace of 1495). Kohlaas himself was tough, rugged, fair, and strong. Here is a trailer for a movie made about Michael Kohlaas, released in 2013, to give you an idea:

Again, the time period (16thcentury) must dictate word choice, and the characters and the plot (which in this case contain violence and a wild, powerful quest for vengeance and justice) must determine how the translation is rendered.

            I could write 100 pages meticulously dissecting both translations. But I won’t waste your time. Here is just the first paragraph of the great translation by Luke with the shit translation [King] in parenthesis. Analysis and justification below. 

            About the middle of the sixteen century there lived beside the banks of the River Havel a horse-dealer called Michael Kohlhaas, the son of a schoolmaster, who was one of the most honorable/[upright] as well as one of the most terrible men of his age. Until his thirtieth year this extraordinary man could have been considered a paragon of civil virtues/[model of a good citizen]. In a village that still bears his name he owned a farm where he peacefully earned a living by his trade/[quietly supported himself by plying his trade]; his wife bore him/[presented him] children who he brought up in the fear of God to be hardworking [industrious] and honest; he had not one neighbor who was not indebted to his generosity or his fair-mindedness/[nor was there one among his neighbors who had not enjoyed the benefit of his kindness or his justice]; in short, the world would have had cause to revere his memory, had he not pursed one of his virtues to excess. But his sense of justice made him a robber and a murderer./[In short, the world would have had every reason to bless his memory if he had not carried to excess one virtue – his sense of justice, which made him a robber and a murderer.

  1. Honorable as an adjective is a 100x better than upright. The word is stronger, fits the century, and connects with a theme of the story and with Kohlhass’ character (honor). Upright evokes somebody trying to fix their posture, and is physical and limited rather than epic and spiritual.
  • A paragon of civil virtues also has an epic quality, subtly revealing the power of Kohlhass, and the sound of “civil virtues” is pleasing to hear in English. Model of a good citizen is bland and weak, a product of the 20thcentury, and makes one think of “doing their small part” for society as they recycle, vote, and follow the rules. 
  • Peacefully earned a living by his trade evokes the image of a someone working hard in peace. The verb “to earn” is powerful and implies independence and pride. Quietly supporting himself by plying his trade implies that “himself” needs to be supported and that he is meek. Michael Kohlhass could survive any obstacle and doesn’t need, in a sense, to support himself. On the other hand, he is intensely “living” and desires “peace.” And the verb plying, is extremely weak, sounding close to playing and being synonymous with handling, using, operating, and feeling.
  • His wife bore children is 1000x better than his wife presented him children. To verb, “bore” is raw and suggests how difficult and painful the act of childbirth is, especially during the late 1700s. What does “present children” to Kohlhass even mean? It evokes an image of a woman nonchalantly putting children on a table as a gift and saying, “Here they are!”
  • Hardworking and honest is a pleasing alliteration. Industrious and honest are two words that rhyme, and intense prose shouldn’t rhyme (because it jars the ear and flow if it’s unintended). In addition, children aren’t taught to be specifically industrious, like machines or employees, they are taught to be hardworking, a subtle difference but all these differences add up.
  • “Not one neighbor who was not indebted to his generosity or his fair-mindedness,” reveals that Kohlhass had a respected and revered place in the community. They were indebted to him. Compare this to: “Nor was there one among his neighbors who had not enjoyed the benefit of his kindness or his justice,” puts the emphasis on neighbors enjoying Kohlass as if he was an entertainer. Kohlass was not an entertainer. And the sentence clumsily uses the word justice, tacked on at the end. Justice is the most important theme in this story, and it shouldn’t be used lightly, as it is in King’s crap translation.
  • Lastly, and most importantly, Luke breaks up the last idea into two sentences: as Kleist does in the original German. Luke writes, “in short, the world would have had cause to revere his memory, had he not pursed one of his virtues to excess. But his sense of justice made him a robber and a murderer.” Making the last idea two sentences adds force and power to the second sentence: his sense of justice making him a robber and murderer. It punches the reader in the gut and makes them want to keep on reading. Compare this to King’s run-on, choppy sentence: “In short, the world would have had every reason to bless his memory if he had not carried to excess one virtue – his sense of justice, which made him a robber and a murderer.” It’s as if the last idea were just tacked on at the end haphazardly, “oh yeah, Kohlhass also became a robber and a murderer.” The phrase, “the world would have every reason to bless his memory” is also stupid and sloppy. Why focus on the world in this sentence, when the story of Kohlhass is him against the world (as Kleist was against his world). Why use the verb “to bless” which evokes religion and the image of a priest calmly leaning over a pious worshiper. The world did not consider blessing Kohlass’ memory. The world either hated or revered him: a divided intensity that Kleist lived by.

Conclusion: If I had encountered King’s translation first instead of Luke’s I might never have befriended Kleist. How many times has this happened before with other translations? It’s better not to think of this question.

      If you get one thing out of this essay, I hope it is that you should read Michael Kohlhass as soon as you can. But please read David Luke’s translation. I believe it’s better.

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The Lovers in Haiti*

*Santo Domingo…Inspired and adapted from Heinrich von Kleist’s The Betrothal in Santo Domingo

            On Monsieur Charles de Clichy’s plantation at Port-au-Prince in the French sector of the island of Santo Domingo there lived at the beginning of the 1800s, at the time when the blacks were revolting against the whites, a revengeful black man named Fuad. He was stolen from the Gold Coast of Africa at the age of sixteen, had been recognized in his youth to be of a loyal and honest disposition, and having once saved his master’s life when they were sailing across to Louisiana, he had been rewarded by the latter with innumerable favors and kindnesses. Not only did Monsieur de Clichy at once grant him his freedom, and on returning to Santo Domingo make him the gift of a house and a home; a few years later, although this was contrary to local custom, he even appointed him as manager of his considerable estate, and since Fuad did not want to re-marry provided him, in lieu of a wife, with an old mulatto woman called Bisoken. Bisoken, who was distantly related to Fuad’s first wife, was living on the plantation at the time with a half-white son named Jacques. Fuad was kind to the child and helped raise the boy, but he did not love him, because Jacques’ skin was lighter than all the other slaves. The boy also disliked his stepfather and secretly dreamed of buying his freedom and leaving the island, and this ambitious desire was felt and resented by all those around him. In his early youth Jacques would often play with the white children of Monsieur Charles de Clichy, since they were kinder to him than the slaves of his age, and even formed a secret friendship with the bold niece of Charles, Eva, who was visiting the island one winter at the age of twelve. They exchanged flowers and whispers the night before she returned to France, and in their childish innocence believed they would someday be married.

            When Fuad had reached the age of sixty Monsieur Charles retired him on a handsome pay and as a crowning act of generosity even made him a legatee under his will; and yet all these proofs of gratitude failed to protect Monsieur de Clichy from the fury of this ferocious man. In the general frenzy of vindictive rage that flared up in all those plantations as a result of the reckless actions of the National Convention, Fuad had been one of the first to seize his gun and, remembering only the tyranny that had snatched him from his native land, blew his master’s brains out. He set fire to the house in which Madame de Clichy had taken refuge with her family and all the other white people in the settlement, he laid waste the whole plantation to which the heirs, who lived in Port-au-Prince, could have made claim, and when every structure except the main building on the estate had been razed to the ground he assembled an armed band of black men and began scouring the whole neighborhood, to help his blood-brothers in their struggle against the whites. Sometimes he would ambush travelers who were making their way in armed groups across the country; sometimes he would attack in broad daylight the settlements in which the planters had barricaded themselves, and would put every human being he found inside to the sword. Such indeed was his thirst for revenge that he even insisted on the elderly Bisoken, her young daughter Juliette (a fifteen-year-old mestiza), and Jacques taking part in this ferocious war by which he himself was feeling altogether rejuvenated: the main building of the plantation, in which he was now living, stood in an isolated spot by the road, and since it often happened during his absences that white or creole refugees came there seeking food or shelter, he instructed the two women and his stepson to offer assistance and favors to these white dogs, as he called them, and thus delay them in the house until his return. Bisoken, who suffered from consumption as a result of a cruel flogging that had been inflicted on her when she was a girl, used on these occasions to dress up her young daughter and son in their best clothes, for Juliette’s yellowish complexion and Jacques light brown skin made them very useful for the purpose of this hideous deception; Juliette was urged to refuse the strangers no caresses short of the final intimacy, which was forbidden her on pain of death, and Jacques was urged to instill confidence in the men that the dwelling was safe; and when Fuad returned with his troop from his expeditions in the surrounding district, immediate death would be the fate of the wretches who had allowed themselves to be beguiled by these stratagems.

            Now in the year 1803, as the world knows, when General Dessalines was advancing against Port-au-Prince at the head of thirty-thousand black men, everyone whose skin was white retreated to this stronghold to defend it. For it was the last outpost of French power on this island, and if it fell no white person on Santo Domingo had any chance of escape. And thus it happened that just when old Fuad was not there, having set out with his black followers to take a consignment of powder and lead right through the French lines to General Dessalines, on a dark and stormy and rainy night someone knocked at the back door of his house. Old Bisoken, who was already in bed, got up, merely throwing a skirt round her waist, opened the window and asked who was there. ‘By the Blessed Virgin and all the saints,’ said a woman in a low voice, placing herself under the window, ‘before I tell you, answer me one question!’ And reaching out through the darkness of the night to grasp the old woman’s hand, she asked, ‘Are you a negress?’ Bisoken said, ‘Well, you must surely be a white woman, since you would rather look this pitch-black night in the face than a negress! Come in,’ she added, ‘there’s nothing to fear; I am a mulatto woman, and the only people except myself who live in this house are my daughter, a mestiza, and my son, another mulatto!’ and so saying she closed the window, as if intending to come down and open the door to her; but instead, on the pretext that she could not at once lay hands on the key, she snatched some clothes out of the cupboard, crept upstairs to her son’s bedroom, and woke him. ‘Jacques!’ she said, ‘Jacques!’ ‘What is it, mother’ ‘Quick,’ said Bisoken. ‘Get up at once and dress! Here are clothes, clean white linen and stockings! A white woman on the run is at the door and wants to be let in!’ ‘A white woman?’ asked Jacques, half sitting up in bed. He took the clothes which the old woman handed to him and said, ‘But mother, is she alone? and will it be safe for us to let her in?’ ‘Of course, of course!’ replied the old woman, striking a light, ‘she is unarmed and alone and trembling in every limb for fear of being attacked by us!’ And so saying, as Jacques got up and put on his shirt and pants, she lit the big lantern which stood in the corner of the room, went to go wake up Juliette and dress her, then gave the lantern to Jacques and ordered him to go down to the courtyard and fetch the stranger in.

            Meanwhile the barking of some dogs in the yard had wakened a small boy called Danky, an illegitimate son of Fuad’s by a negress, who slept in the outhouses with his brother Peppy; and seeing in the moonlight a woman standing by herself on the steps at the back door, he at once, as he was instructed to do in such cases, rushed to the main gate through which the woman had entered, and locked it. The stranger was puzzled by this and asked the boy, whom to her horror she recognized at close quarters as a black boy; ‘Why did you do that? Who else is here?’ And on hearing his answer that since Monsieur de Clichy’s death the property had been taken over by Fuad, she was just about to shoot the boy with a pistol, snatch the key to the main gate form his hand, and escape into the open, when Jacques, holding the lantern, came out of the house. ‘Quick!’ he said, seizing her hand and drawing her towards the door, ‘come in here!” As he spoke he was careful to hold the lantern in such a way that its beam would fall full on his face. The moment the woman started to ask, ‘Who are you?’ she became flooded with relief and joy, ‘Jacques! Is that you? Thank god! It’s me! Eva! Do you remember-‘ She tried to embrace him, but he stepped back, afraid they would be seen. ‘Eva! Yes! It’s me, Jacques. I remember! But be quiet. You can’t-‘ Eva, surprised that Jacques had recoiled, and returning to her senses, remembered the small boy locking the gate. She became suspicious. ‘Who else is living here? Jacques? Am I safe?’ ‘No one, I swear by the heavens above, but my mother, my sister, and myself!’ And he realized his mistake in stepping back, and renewed his efforts to draw her inside. ‘What, no one!’ cried Eva, snatching her hand from his and taking a step backwards. ‘Did this boy not tell me just now that Fuad is living here? And that my uncle is dead?’ ‘No, I tell you,’ said Jacques, quickly gazing up at the house then looking at Eva with a pleading stare, ‘I mean, yes your uncle is dead, he was killed by Fuad, and although the house belongs to Fuad now, he is absent and ten miles away!’ And so saying he dragged Eva into the house with both hands, ordered the boy to tell no one who had arrived, seized his childhood love by the hand as they passed through the door, and led her upstairs to his mother’s room. 

            ‘Well,’ said the old woman, who had been listening to the whole conversation from the window and learned that Jacques and Eva had recognized one another, ‘what’s the meaning of that pistol you’re tucked under your arm?’ And she added, putting on her spectacles: ‘We have risked our own lives by granting you refuge in our house; have you come in here to reward this kindness with treachery, as is customary among your fellow countrymen? ‘God forbid!’ replied Eva, who was now standing right in front of her chair. She set the pistol on the ground, seized the old woman’s hand, pressed it to her heart, and then cast a few glances round the room before saying, ‘You see before you the most wretched of women, but not an ungrateful criminal!’ ‘Who are you?’ asked the old woman as she feigned ignorance, pushing up a chair for the woman with her foot and telling Juliette to go into the kitchen and prepare as good a supper for the guest as she could manage in a hurry. The woman replied, ‘My name is Eva and I come from France. My family arrived on this island to visit my uncle a day before the rebellion broke out.’ She leaned forward and gripped her soaking-wet hair. ‘Oh how I wish we had never left home for this accursed island! We have come from Fort Dauphin, where as you know all the whites have been murdered, and our purpose is to reach Port-au-Prince before General Dessalines succeeds in surrounding and besieging it with the troops under his command.’ ‘From Fort Dauphin!’ exclaimed the old woman. ‘So you actually succeeded, with your white faces, in traveling all that way right through a country in revolt?’ ‘God and all the saints protected us!” replied Eva. ‘Who else is with you?’ asked Bisoken. ‘My father, who is wounded, my aunt, her five children, several servants and maids who belong to the family, a company of thirteen souls, with only two wretched mules to help us, and we have to escort them in indescribably laborious night marches, for we dare not let ourselves be seen by daylight on the highway.’ ‘Why heaven save us!’ exclaimed the old woman, shaking her head compassionately and taking a pinch of snuff. ‘And where are your travelling companions at this moment?’ Eva hesitated for a moment, glanced at Jacques, then replied, ‘You are someone I can trust; in your face, like a gleam of light, there is a tinge of my own complexion. I will tell you that my family is hidden a mile from here, by Raven pond, in the thick woods that cover the hills round it; hunger and thirst forced us the day before yesterday to take refuge there. We sent our servants out last night to try to buy a little bread from the country people, but in vain; for fear of being caught and killed they made no effective attempt to do so, and consequently I myself, at mortal risk and against my father’s wishes, snuck away from our hiding-place tonight, since I know the territory, to try my luck. If I am not much deceived,’ she continued, pressing the old woman’s hand, ‘heaven has led me to compassionate people who do not share the cruel and outrageous resentment that has seized all the inhabitants of this island. Please be kind enough – I will pay you very well for it – to let me have a few baskets full of food, refreshments, and medical supplies; we are only five more days’ journey from Port-au-Prince, and if you would provide us with the means to reach that town, we shall forever afterwards think of you three as the saviors of our lives.’ ‘Indeed, indeed, this frenzy of resentment,’ said the old woman hypocritically. ‘Is it not as if the hands of one and the same body or the teeth of one and the same mouth raged against each other simply because they were differently made? Am I, whose father came from Santiago in Cuba, responsible for the faint gleam that appears on my face during the day? And is my son, who was conceived and born in Europe, responsible for the fact that the full bright light of that part of the world is reflected in his complexion? ‘What!’ exclaimed Eva, ‘do you mean to say that you yourself, who as the whole cast of your features show are a mulatto and therefore of African origin, that both you and your handsome son who opened the door of the house to me, are condemned to the same fate as us Europeans?’ ‘By heavens!’ replied the old woman, taking her glasses from her nose, ‘do you suppose that this little property, which through years of toil and suffering we acquired by the work of our hands, does not provoke the rapacity of that horde of ferocious plundering devils? If we did not manage to protect ourselves from their persecution by means of the only defense available to the weak, namely cunning and every imaginable dissimulation, then let me assure you that the shadow of kinship with them which lies on our faces would not save us!’ ‘It’s not possible!’ cried Eva. ‘Who on this island is persecuting you?’ ‘The owner of this house,’ answered the old woman, ‘Fuad! Since the death of Monsieur de Clichy, the previous owner of this plantation, whom he savagely murdered at the outbreak of the revolt, we who, as his relatives, keep house for him are subject in every way to his whims and brutalities. Every time we offer, as an act of humanity, a piece of bread or drink to one or other of the white refugees who sometimes pass this way, he repays us for it with insults and ill-treatment; and it is his dearest wish to inflame the vengeance of the blacks against us white and creole half-dogs, as he now calls us, partly in order to get rid of us altogether because we reproach him for his savagery against the whites, and partly in order to gain possession of the little property that we would leave behind us.’ ‘You poor people!’ said Eva, ‘poor pitiable wretches! And where is this monster now?’ ‘With General Dessalines’ army,’ answered the old woman. ‘He set out with the other blacks from this plantation to take him a consignment of powder and lead which the General needed. We are expecting him back in ten or twelve days, unless he has to go off on other business; and if on his return he should discover, which God forbid, that we have given protection and shelter to a white woman on her way to Port-au-Prince while he has been devoting all his efforts to the extermination of the entire white race on the island – then believe me, the lives of all of us would be forfeit.’ ‘God, who loves humanity and compassion,’ replied the stranger, ‘will protect you in your kindness to a victim of misfortune! And since in that case,’ she added, moving closer to the old woman, ‘you have incurred Fuad’s resentment anyway, so much so that even if you were to go back to obeying him it would not longer do you any good, could you perhaps see your way, for any reward you like to name, to giving shelter for a day or two to my father, aunt, and our families, who are utterly exhausted by our journey, and could here recover their strength a little? ‘Young woman!’ said the old woman, in amazement, ‘what are you asking of me? How could we possibly lodge a party of travelers as big as yours in a house standing right by the roadway without the fact becoming known to the whole neighborhood?’ ‘Why not,’ urged Eva, ‘if I myself were to go out at once to the pond and lead my party back to the settlement before day break? If we were to lodge them all, masters and servants alike, in one and the same room in this house, and perhaps even take the precaution, in the case of the worst, of carefully shutting up the doors and windows there?’ The old woman, after considering the suggestion for a little, replied that if she were to attempt to fetch her family from the mountain ravine and bring them to the settlement that night, she would undoubtedly encounter a troop of armed black men on the road who were expected to be advancing along the military highway, as some forward patrols had already reported. ‘Very well,’ replied the woman, ‘then for the present let us content ourselves with sending my family a basket of food, and postpone till tomorrow night the operation of conducting them to the settlement. Are you willing to do that, my good woman?’ ‘Well,’ said the old woman, as Eva glanced hopefully at Jacques, ‘for the sake of the European who was my son’s father I will do this kindness for you, as his fellow countrymen in distress. At daybreak tomorrow sit down and write a letter to your family inviting them to come here to me in this settlement; the boy you saw in the yard can take them the letter together with some provisions and medicine, stay overnight with them in the mountains to make sure they are safe, and at dawn the following day, if they accept the invitation, act as guide to bring the party here.’

            In the meantime Juliette had returned with the meal she had prepared in the kitchen, and as she laid the table she asked the old woman, ‘Well, tell me, mother! Has the woman recovered from the fright she was in at our door? I heard yelling. Is she now convinced that there is no one lying in wait for her with poison and dagger, and that Fuad is not at home?’ Her mother said with a sigh, ‘My child, as the proverb says, once burnt twice shy of the fire. The woman would have acted foolishly if she had ventured into this house without making sure to what race the people living here belonged.’ Jacques, standing next to his mother, told her how he had held the lantern in such a way that its full beam had fallen on his face. ‘But,’ he said, giving Eva a knowing stare, ‘her mind was obsessed with blackamoors and negroes, and if a man from Paris or Marseilles had opened the door to her, she would have taken him for a black man.’ Eva, smiling and blushing, said in some embarrassment that her wet hair had prevented her from seeing his face. ‘If I had been able,’ she continued, staring deep into his eyes, ‘to look at your face as I am doing now, then even if everything else about you had been black, I should have been willing to drink with you from a poisoned cup.’ She flushed even deeper as she surprised herself with these words, and Jacques mother and Juliette stared at her in shock and embarrassment. After a pause, Jacque’s mother urged them all to sit down, whereupon Jacques seated himself at the opposite end of the table, gazing hard at Eva while she eat. The latter asked the family questions about their ages and native towns. Bisoken mostly spoke for her children and told Eva that when she had been accompanying her former employer, Madame de Clichy, she had conceived Jacques in Paris and that that was where, twenty-nine years ago, he had been born. She added that the black man Komar, whom she afterwards married, had in fact adopted the child, but that his real father had been a rich merchant from Marseilles called Gustave Ballair, and that consequently his name was Jacques Ballair. Jacques asked Eva whether she knew a gentleman of that name in France; she answered she did not, that it was a big country, and that during the years she had spent there before embarking for Louisiana she had met no one called Gustave Ballair. The old woman added that in any case, according to fairly reliable reports as she had received, Jacques’ father was no longer living in France. She said that his ambitious and enterprising temperament found no satisfaction within the restrictions of bourgeois life; at the outbreak of the Revolution he had involved himself in public affairs and in 1795 had joined a French diplomatic mission to the Ottoman court; from there, so far as she knew, he had never returned. Eva, smiling at Jacques, said: ‘Why, in that case you are nobly born and a rich man!’ She urged him to make use of these advantages, saying that he might well expect, with his father’s assistance, to rise again to a social position more distinguished than his present one. ‘That can hardly be so,’ replied the old woman, restraining her evident resentment at this remark, ‘During my pregnancy in Paris, Monsieur Ballair, feeling ashamed of me because he wanted to marry a rich, white young lady, went before a court and formally repudiated the paternity. I shall never forget the brazen perjury he committed to my face; the consequence was that I fell into a bilious fever, and soon after that Monsieur de Clichy ordered me to be given sixty lashes too, as a result of which I have suffered consumption to this day.’ Jacques, wanting to change the subject, asked Eva to give some details of the outbreak of the rebellion in Fort Dauphin. She told how at midnight, when everyone was asleep, a treacherous signal had been given for the blacks to start massacring the whites; how the leader of the black men, a sergeant in the French pioneer corps, had had the malevolence to set fire at once to every ship in the harbor in order to cut off the whites’ retreat to Europe; how her family had only just had time to escape from the town with a few possessions and how, the revolt having flared up everywhere simultaneously all along the coast, they had no choice but to set out, with two mules they had managed to find, heading straight across the island for Porte-au-Prince, which being defended by a strong French army was now the only place still holding out against the increasing power of the black population. Jacques, continuing to stare hard at Eva, asked her that didn’t she believe this violence was justified, that hadn’t the whites come to incur such hatred in the first place? Eva, a little disconcerted, replied that the cause lay in the general relationship which as masters of the island they had had with the blacks. ‘And to tell you the truth,’ she added, ‘I will not attempt to defend the situation, but it is one which has lasted for many centuries. The mad lust for freedom which has seized all these plantations has driven the black race and creoles to break the chains that oppressed them, and to take their revenge on whites for much reprehensible ill-treatment they have had to suffer at the hands of some of us who do our race no credit.’ After a short pause she continued, ‘I was particularly struck and horrified by the action of one young black man, who was lying sick with yellow fever just at the time when the revolt broke out, for the plight of Fort Dauphin had been greatly worsened by an epidemic of this disease. Three years earlier he had been the slave of a white planter, whose wife fell in love with him, but when their tryst was discovered the wife claimed to her husband that she had been raped. Her husband beat the slave to the edge of death, not killing him because he had always doubted his wife’s fidelity and because the slave wouldn’t be worth anything dead, then when the slave was recovered sold him to a creole planter. On the day of the general uprising the young man heard that his former master and his family, pursued by the furious black rebels, had taken refuge in a woodshed nearby; remembering his ill-treatment, he sent his brother to the family as evening fell, inviting the wife to stay the night with him. The wretched woman, who knew neither that the young man was sick nor what disease he was suffering from, fled from her husband, came to the black man’s room full of hope and gratitude, thinking herself saved, and took him in her arms; but she had scarcely been half an hour in bed with him, making love, caressing him, and kissing him when he suddenly sat up with an expression of cold, savage fury and said, ‘I whom you have been kissing am infected with pestilence and dying of it; go now and give the yellow fever to all your kind!’ And as the old woman loudly proclaimed her abhorrence of such a deed, Eva asked Jacques: ‘Could you ever do a thing like that?’ ‘No,’ said Jacques, without breaking his stare at Eva from across the table. Eva, lying her napkin on the table, declared that it was her deep inner conviction that no tyranny the whites had ever practiced could justify a treachery of such abominable vileness. ‘Heaven’s vengeance is disarmed by it,’ she exclaimed, rising passionately from her seat, ‘and the angels themselves, filled with revulsion by this overturning of all human and divine order, will take sides with those who are in the wrong and will support their cause!’ So saying, she walked across for a moment to the window and stared out at the night sky, where stormy clouds were drifting past the moon and the stars; then, as she had the impression that the mother, daughter, and Jacques were looking at each other, although she could see no sign of any communication between them, an unpleasant feeling of worry came over her; and turning to them she asked to be shown to her room where she could sleep.

            Jacques’ mother, looking at the clock on the wall, observed that in any case it was nearly midnight, and taking a candle she asked the stranger to follow her. She led her to the room assigned to her, at the end of a long corridor; Jacques brought her coat and various other things she had discarded; his mother showed Eva the very comfortably made-up bed where she would sleep, and after telling Jacques to get a footbath ready for the lady, she wished her good night and took her leave. Eva put her pistol in the corner of the room. As Jacques pushed the bed forward and spread a white sheet over it she looked around. She observed the luxury and taste, and remembered that it had been furnished in almost the exact same way when her uncle was here and alive; a feeling of apprehension seized her heart like the beak and talons of a bird of prey, and she began to wish that she was back with her family in the woods, as hungry and thirsty as when she had come here. Meanwhile, from the kitchen nearby, Jacques had fetched a basinful of hot water, spiced with aromatic herbs, and invited Eva, who was leaning against the window, to refresh herself with it.

            ‘Do you remember,’ whispered Eva, ‘when we gave each other flowers on the night before I left, all the years ago, and promised each other that we would marry one another?’ ‘I do, like it was yesterday.’ Jacques looked deep into Eva’s eyes as she sat down and began taking off her shoes and stockings. Eva admired his black hair and firm muscles as he set the bath in front of her; there was something extraordinarily powerful about his limbs and the way he moved, she could have sworn that she had never seen anything more attractive. She was also struck by the remote resemblance, she did not herself yet rightly know to whom, which she had noticed as soon as she entered the house and which drew her whole heart towards him. When he rose after completing his tasks she caught hold of Jacques hand, and knowing that there was only one way of finding out whether the man had sincere feelings or not she drew him down to his knees and asked him whether he was already engaged to be married. ‘No,’ he murmured, looking at Eva with great black eyes and an air of conviction; and without moving he added that his mother wanted him to marry a young black woman named Kolly who lived in that neighborhood but that he refused to propose to her. Eva, pulling him closer, and gazing at the small golden cross he wore around his neck, asked, ‘Why not? Is she ugly?’ Jacques pulled away, “Oh no! On the contrary, she is quite pretty. And she has become rich recently, her father has gained possession of the whole settlement that used to belong to his master the planter.’ ‘So will you propose to her now that she is rich?’ Jacques shook his head briefly and laughed; and when Eva pulling him back closer and whispering playfully in his ear, asked whether it was necessary to be a black woman in order to gain his favor, he suddenly, after a fleeting pensive pause, and with a frown on his face, stood up. But he didn’t leave the room, and after a moment looked down at Eva with a wide, mischievous smile. Eva, moved by his face and the smile, called him back and embraced him, feeling that the hand of god had swept away all her anxieties. She could not possibly believe that all these signs of emotion he showed her were merely the wretched antics of cold-hearted, hideous treachery. The thoughts that had preyed on her mind were dispersed like a host of ominous birds; she reproached herself for having failed even for a moment to appreciate his true feelings, and as she embraced him harder and inhaled the odor of his body, she pressed a kiss against his side, as a token of reconciliation and forgiveness. Meanwhile Jacques was standing completely still with a strange startled suddenness, as if listening for steps in the passage approaching the door; in a kind of pensive reverie he turned toward the door; and only when he realized that his alarm had been mistaken did he turn again to Eva with the same, mischievous smile, reminding her that if she did not use the hot water soon it would get cold. ‘Well?’ he asked in some surprise, as Eva said nothing but went on gazing at him thoughtfully, ‘why are you still staring at me?’ He tried to conceal his embarrassment that had overcome him by adjusting the foot bath, then exclaimed, “Do you remember when we hid in that tool shed all afternoon, while you parents were looking for you?’ Eva replied, “I do, and I remember what we did…’ For a moment they gazed into one another eyes, until Eva added, ‘You know, there’s an extraordinary resemblance between you and a friend of mine!” Jacques, noticing that the intimate mood had passed, and feeling a bit relieved, took Eva kindly and sympathetically by the hand and asked, ‘Who is he?’ Whereupon, after reflecting for a moment or two, she made the following answer: ‘His name was Marius Conleau and he came from Strasbourg. His father was a merchant in that city, I had met him there shortly before the outbreak of the Revolution and had been lucky enough to obtain his consent to marry me, as well as his father’s approval. Oh, he was the most handsome, the most loyal man on earth; and when I look at you, the terrible and moving circumstances in which I lost him come back so vividly to my mind and fill me with such sorrow that I cannot restrain my tears.’ ‘What?’ asked Jacques, moving closer to her, ‘he is no longer alive?’ ‘He died’ answered Eva, ‘and it was his death alone that taught me the very essence of all goodness and nobility. God knows,’ she muttered, bowing her head in grief upon his shoulder, ‘how I allowed myself to be so utterly reckless as to make certain remarks one evening in a public place about the terrible Revolutionary Tribunal which had just been set up. I was denounced, my arrest was sought; and since I had been fortunate enough to escape to the outskirts of the city, the bloodthirsty band of my pursuers, failing to find me but insisting on some victim or other, even rushed to my fiancée’s house; and so infuriated were they by his truthful declaration that he did not know where I was, that with outrageous cynicism, on the pretext that he was my accomplice, they dragged him instead of me to the scaffold. No sooner had this appalling news been conveyed to me than I emerged from the hiding-place into which I had fled, and hastened, pushing my way through the crowd, to the place of execution, where I shouted at the top of my voice,’ ‘Here I am, you inhuman monsters!’ But he, already standing on the platform beside the guillotine, on being questioned by some of the judges who as ill-fortune would have it did not know me by sight, gave me one look which is indelibly imprinted on my soul, and then turned away, saying: ‘I have no idea who that woman is!’ And a few moments later, amid a roll of drums and a roar of voices, at the behest of those impatient butchers, the iron blade dropped and severed his head from his body. How was I saved I have no idea; a quarter of an hour later I was in a friend’s house, swooning and recovering consciousness by turns, and towards evening, half bereft of my senses, I was lifted into a carriage and conveyed across the Rhine.’ With these words Eva, letting go of Jacques, returned to the window, where he saw her, in deep emotion, bury her face in a handkerchief; at this, for more than one reason, he was overcome by a sense of human compassion, and impulsively followed her, embracing Eva from behind, pressing her close to his body, and mingling his tears with hers.

            There is no need to report what happened next, for it will be clear to anyone who has followed the narrative thus far. When the stranger regained possession of herself and took account of what had happened, she had no idea what its consequences might be; but for the time being at least she understood that she was saved, and that in this house she had entered there was nothing for her to fear from Jacques. Seeing him sitting on the edge of the bed, naked, with his head in his hands and staring at the floor, distraught with what he had done, she did everything she could to console him. She took from her breast the little golden cross which was a present from her dead finance, the faithful Marius, and leaning over Jacques and caressing him with the utmost tenderness she hung it around his neck, saying that it was her gift to him. As Jacques continued to stare at the floor, motionless, Eva sat down on the edge of the bed, and told him, stroking and kissing his shoulder, that they should be married. She described to him the little estate that she possessed on the banks of the La Nièvre; a house sufficiently comfortable and spacious to accommodate him, his sister, and his mother as well, after they returned to Europe; she described her fields, gardens, meadows and vineyards, and her venerable aged father who would welcome him there with gratitude and love for having saved his daughter’s life. As Jacques continued to sit on the edge of the bed in silence, Eva embraced him passionately, and beginning to weep, begged him to reveal his feelings about what she said. She swore that the love she felt for him would never fade from her heart. She told him that she had loved him since they were children, and that she had never forgotten their promise. In the end she reminded him that the morning stars were glistening in the sky and that if he stayed in this room any longer his mother would come and surprise him there; she urged him, for the sake of his health, to get up and rest for a few hours in his own bed; filled with the direst alarm by his lack of response, she asked if there was anything she could do, or if she had said or done something wrong. But since he made no answer to anything she said and simply kept staring at the ground, and since daylight was already gleaming through both windows, she whispered, ‘If you won’t give me the dignity of a response, please go,’ and he collected his clothes returned to his bedroom.

            As soon as day had fully dawned, old Bisoken went upstairs to her son, sat down by his bed and told him the plan she had decided upon for dealing with the stranger and her traveling companions. Since Fuad would not be back for two days it was all-important, she thought, to delay the stranger in the house for that period without admitting her family, whose presence might be dangerous on account of their numbers. The scheme she had thought of for this purpose, she said, was to pretend to the stranger that according to a report just received General Dessalines and his army were about to march through this district, and that it would therefore be much too dangerous to accommodate the family in the house, as was their wish, until he had passed by in three days’ time. Finally, she said, the party must be provided with food so that they would not move on, and otherwise delayed in the delusion that they would find refuge in the house, so that they might all be overpowered later on. She added that this was an important matter, since the family were probably carrying property of considerable value with them; and she told her son that she relied on his full cooperation in the project she had just outlined to him. Jacques, sitting up in his bed and flushing with anger, replied that it was shameful and contemptible to violate the laws of hospitality in this way against people whom one had lured into one’s house. He said that a woman who was being pursued and had entrusted herself to their protection ought to be doubly safe with them, and declared that if his mother did not abandon the bloodthirsty scheme she had proposed, he would at once go and tell the stranger that the house in which she had thought she had reached safety was a den of murderers. “Jacques!” exclaimed his mother, pressing his hands against his sides and staring wide-eyed at the young man. ‘Yes, indeed!” replied Jacques, lowering his voice. ‘What harm has this young woman done to us? Why should we fall on her like bandits and kill her and rob her? Do such grievances as we may have against the planters here exist in the part of the island in which she comes? Is it not, rather, quite obvious that she is an entirely noble-minded and honorable woman who has in no way participated in the injustices committed by her race against the blacks?’ The old woman, observing the remarkable vehemence with which the young man spoke, merely stammered her astonishment. She asked him what wrong the young Portuguese had done whom they had recently clubbed to death at the gateway; she asked what crime the two Dutchmen had committed whom the negroes had shot in the yard three weeks ago; she demanded to know what accusation could be brought against the three Frenchmen and against so many other individual fugitives of the white race who since the revolt had been executed in this house with muskets, pikes and daggers. ‘By the heavens above us,’ replied her son, rising wildly to his feet, ‘you are very wrong to remind me of these atrocities! The inhuman deeds in which you all forced me to take part have for a long time sickened me to the very soul; and in order to satisfy the vengeance of God upon me for all that has happened, I swear to you that I would rather die ten times over than allow a hair of that young woman’s head to be touched as long as she is in our house.’ ‘Very well,’ said the old woman, suddenly adopting a conciliatory tone. ‘Then the stranger can go on her way! But,’ she added, rising to leave the room, ‘when Fuad returns and finds out that a white woman has spent the night in our house, then you may give an account to him of the compassionate feelings that moved you, in defiance of his express orders, to let such a visitor go again once she had been let in.’

            On hearing this remark, which despite its apparent mildness barely concealed the old woman’s malice, Jacques sat on in his room in a state of some consternation. He knew his mother’s hatred for the whites too well to be able to believe that Bisoken would let an opportunity for gratifying it pass by unused. Alarmed by the thought that she might immediately send out to the neighboring plantations for negroes to come and capture Eva and her family, he got dressed and followed his mother without delay to the living-room downstairs. Bisoken appeared to be doing something at the cupboard where the food was kept, but as Jacques entered it she left it with an air of confusion and sat down at the spinning-wheel; the young man stood gazing at the proclamation fixed to the door, which on pain of death forbade all blacks to give accommodation and shelter to whites; then, as if frightened into an understanding of the wrong he had committed, he suddenly turned and got down on his knees at the feet of his mother, who as he well knew had been watching him from behind. Embracing the old woman’s knees, he begged her to forgive the wild things he had said in defense of the stranger, excused himself as having been only half awake when the proposals for outwitting her had been unexpectedly put her him while he was still in bed, and declared himself willing to surrender her utterly to the vengeance of the existing laws of the land, since these had decreed her destruction. The old woman, after a pause during which she looked the young man straight in the face, said: ‘By heaven, this speech of yours has saved her life, for today at least! For since you were threatening to protect her, I had already poisoned her food, and that would have delivered her, dead at any rate, into the hands of Fuad, in accordance with his orders.’ So saying she rose, took a pan of milk that was standing on the table, and poured its contents out of the window. Jacques, scarcely believing his senses, stared at his mother in horror. The old woman sat down again by the young man, who was still on his knees on the floor, raised him to his feet, and asked him what could have happened in the course of a single night to change his attitude so suddenly. Had he spent any length of time with the stranger yesterday evening after preparing her bath? And had he had much conversation with her? But Jacques, whose heart was beating fast, made no answer, or no definite answer, to these questions; he stood with downcast eyes, pressing his hands to his head, and said that he had had a dream; but one look at his unhappy mother’s breast, he added, stopping down quickly to kiss the old woman’s hand, had recalled to his mind all the inhumanity of the race to which this stranger belonged. Turning and pressing his face into her apron he assured Bisoken that as soon as the negro Fuad arrived he would see what sort of stepson he had.

            Bisoken was still sitting there pensively, wondering what might be the cause of the young man’s strange impassioned mood, when the young woman entered the room with a note which she had written in her bedroom, inviting her family to spend a few days at Fuad’s planation. Evidently in the best of spirits, she greeted the mother and young man very affably, and giving the note to the former, asked her to send someone to the woods with it immediately, at the same time providing for the needs of the party as she had promised. Bisoken got up with an air of agitation, putting the note away in the cupboard and saying, “Miss, we must ask you to go back to your bedroom at once. The road is full of negro patrols passing one after another, and they report to us that General Dessalines is about to march through this district with his army. The door of this house is open to all, and you will not be safe in it unless you hide in your bedroom which looks out on the main courtyard, and lock its doors very carefully as well as fastening the window shutters.’ ‘What?’ said the stranger, surprised, ‘General Dessalines-’ but the old woman interrupted her, knocking three times on the floor with a stick. ‘Ask no questions,’ she said. ‘I will follow you to your room and explain it all to you there.’ As she thrust her out of the living room with anxious gestures, Eva turned round again at the door and exclaimed to her, ‘But my family is waiting for me and surely you will at least have to send a messenger to them who-” ‘That will all be attended to,’ broke in the old woman and at that moment the bastard negro boy of whom we have already spoken entered the room, summoned by the tapping of her stick. Then Bisoken told Jacques, who was looking into the mirror with his back turned to the stranger, to pick up a basket containing food which stood in the corner of the room; and the mother, the son, the stranger and the boy went upstairs to the bedroom.

            Here the old woman, settling herself comfortably into an armchair, explained that the campfires of General Dessalines’ army had been seen flickering all through the night on the hills that cut off the horizon – this was in fact the case, although until the moment of speaking not a single negro from among his troops, who were advancing south-westwards towards Port-au-Prince, had yet been observed in this area. She thus succeeded in plunging the stranger into a turmoil of anxiety which, however, she was later able to calm, assuring her that she would do everything in her power to save her, even if the worst came to worst and the troops were billeted on her. When she repeatedly and urgently reminded Bisoken that in these circumstances she must at least assist her family with provisions, Bisoken took the basket from her son’s hand, gave it to the boy and told him to go out to Raven pond in the nearby wood on the hillside and deliver it to the young woman’s kinsmen who he would find there. She added that he must inform them that the young woman was well; he was to say that friends of the white people, who for taking sides with them had themselves to suffer a great deal from the blacks, had taken her into their house out of compassion. Finally, she said, he must tell them that as soon as the highway was clear of the expected negro troops, steps would at once be taken to offer shelter in the house to the family as well. ‘Do you understand?’ she asked when she had finished speaking. The boy, putting the basket on his head, replied that he knew very well Raven pond which she had described to him, having sometimes gone there with friends to fish, and that on finding the foreign woman’s family who had camped there he would convey to them exactly the message that he had been given. When the old woman asked the stranger whether she had anything to add she pulled a ring from her finger and handed it to the boy, telling him to deliver it to the head of the family, Monsieur Gervais, as a token that the information he was bringing was correct. Bisoken then made various arrangements designed, as she said, to ensure the stranger’s safety; she ordered Jacques to close the shutters, and in order to dispel the resulting darkness in the room she herself lit a candle, using a tinder box which she took from the mantelshelf and which gave her some trouble as at first it would not kindle a light. The stranger took advantage of this moment to put her arm gently round Jacques’ waist and ask him, whispering in his ear, how he slept and whether he ought to inform his mother of what had happened; but Jacques made no reply to the first question and to the second, freeing himself from her arm, he answered, ‘No, not a word, if you love me!’ He concealed the anxiety which all these deceitful preparations by his mother aroused in him, and on the pretext that he must make some breakfast for the stranger, he rushed downstairs to the living-room.

            From his mother’s cupboard he took the letter in which the stranger in her innocence had invited her family to follow the boy back to the settlement, and taking a chance on whether his mother would miss it, he hurried after the boy who was already on his way along the road. He was resolved, if the worst should happen, to perish with the young woman whom he now regarded, in his heart before God, no longer as a mere guest to whom he had given protection and shelter, but as his lover, his betrothed wife; and he had decided, as soon as Eva was strongly enough supported in the house by her followers, to declare this to his mother who would in these circumstances, as he reckoned, be thrown into confusion. Hastening breathlessly along the road he overtook the negro boy, ‘Danky,’ he said, ‘my mother has changed her plan about Madame Gervais’ family. Take this letter! It is to Monsieur Gervais, the old man who is the head of the family, and it invites him to spend a few days in our settlement with his whole party. Be a clever boy and do everything you possibly can to persuade him to accept this arrangement; Fuad will reward you for your help when he comes back!’ ‘Very well, Cousin Jacques,’ answered the boy, carefully folding up the letter and putting it in his pocket. ‘And am I,’ he asked, ‘to act as guide to bring the party back here?’ ‘Of course,’ replied Jacques. ‘That is obvious, because they don’t know the district. But it is possible that there may be troops marching along the highway, so you must not set out before midnight; after that, however, you must be as quick as you can to get them back here before dawn. Can we rely on you?’ he asked. ‘You can rely on Danky!’ answered the boy. ‘I know why you are enticing these white fugitives into the plantation, and I shall serve the negro Fuad well!”

            Jacques then helped his sister Juliette serve the stranger her breakfast, and after it had been cleared away the mother, sister, and son went back into the living room at the front of the house to go on with their domestic tasks. After some time, inevitably, the old woman went to the cupboard and naturally enough missed the letter. She pressed her hand for a moment against her head, not trusting her memory, and asked Jacques where she could have put the note that the stranger had given her. Jacques, after remaining silent for a moment with downcast eyes, answered that to his knowledge the stranger herself had put it back in her pocket and then torn it up, in the presence of both of them, upstairs in her room. His mother stared at the young man wide-eyed, saying she was sure she could remember her handing it to her and that she had put it in the cupboard; but since after much vain searching she failed to find it and since a number of similar incidents had made her regard her memory as unreliable, she finally had no choice but to accept her son’s account of the matter. She could not, however, conceal her extreme vexation at this occurrence, pointing out that the letter would have been of the greatest importance to Fuad as a means of luring the family to the plantation. At midday and in the evening, as Jacques was serving food to Eva and Bisoken was sitting at the corner of the table to talk to her, Bisoken several times took the opportunity of asking Eva about the letter; but Jacques, whenever this dangerous point was approached, cleverly changed the subject or confused the conversation, so that his mother was never able to make any sense of what the stranger said about the letter or discover what had really become of it. Thus the day passed; after the evening meal Bisoken locked the stranger’s room, for her own safety, as she said, and after some further discussion with Jacques about what trick she might use to get possession of a similar letter on the following day, she went to bed and ordered her son to do the same.

            As soon as Jacques, who had longingly waited for this moment, reached his bedroom and had convinced himself that his mother was asleep, he took the picture of the Holy Virgin from where it hung by his bed, placed it on a chair, and knelt down before it with clasped hands. He besought the Savior, the divine Son of Our Lady, in a prayer of infinite fervor, to not only forgive him but to grant him enough courage and constancy to confess to the young woman to whom he had taken without the sanctity of marriage the crimes that burdened his young soul. He vowed, at all costs, whatever pain it might bring to his heart, to conceal nothing from her, not even the pitiless and terrible intention with which he had enticed her into the house on the previous day; yet he hoped that for the sake of what he had already done towards securing her rescue she would forgive him, and take him back with her to Europe as her faithful husband. Wonderfully strengthened by this prayer, he rose and took the master key that opened all the rooms in the house, and with it crept carefully, not lighting a candle, along the narrow passage that ran across the building, to the door of the stranger’s bedroom. He opened it softly and approached her bed, where she was lying in a deep sleep. The moonlight shone on her fresh, youthful face, and the night breeze, blowing through the open windows, ruffled her hair on her brow. He leaned gently over her, breathing in her sweet breath, and called her by name; but she was immersed in a deep dream, which seemed to be about him: at all events he repeatedly heard her, with trembling lips, ardently whisper, ‘Jacques, Jacques!’ He was overcome by a feeling of indescribable sadness, and could not bring himself to drag her down from the heights of enchanting fantasy into the depths of base and miserable reality; and certain that in any case she would wake of her own accord, he knelt down by her bed and covered her dear hand with kisses.

            But what words can describe the horror that seized him a few moments later when suddenly, from inside the courtyard, he heard the noise of men and horses and weapons, and could quite clearly recognize the voice of Fuad, who with the whole band of his followers had unexpectedly returned from General Dessalines’ camp. He rushed to hide behind the window curtains, carefully avoiding the moonlight which might have betrayed his presence, and sure enough he could at once hear his mother delivering a report to Fuad of everything that had happened during his absence, including the European refugee’s arrival in the house. Fuad, lowering his voice, commanded silence among his troops in the courtyard, and asked the old woman where the stranger was at that moment; whereupon she pointed out the room to him and at the same time took occasion to inform him of the strange and remarkable conversation she had heard between her son and the fugitive; revealing that the fugitive was indeed not a stranger, but the niece of the late Monsieur Charles de Clichy. She assured Fuad that her son was betraying them and that the entire project of killing the woman and her family was therefore at risk. At all events, she said, she had well noted that the treacherous bastard had crept secretly to the fugitive’s bed at nightfall, and there he would be still taking his ease at this very moment; he might even now, if indeed the woman had not already fled, be warning her and devising with her some means of effecting her escape. Fuad, who had had proof in the past of the young man’s loyalty in similar cases, exclaimed in reply: ‘Surely what you tell me is impossible!’ Then in a fury he shouted: ‘Wesley! Anel! Bring your guns!’ And thereupon, without another word, he climbed the stairs with all his negroes following him, and entered the stranger’s room.

            Jacques, who in the course of just a few minutes had witnessed this whole scene, stood as if thunderstruck, numbed into immobility. For a moment he considered waking the stranger, but for one thing he knew that because of the troops in the courtyard she could not possibly escape, and in addition he foresaw that she would perhaps attempt to seize her pistol and thus, with the negroes outnumbering her as they did, be struck down and killed at once if she tried to defend herself. Indeed, the most terrible thought of all those that occurred to him was that the unfortunate woman, finding him standing beside her bed at such a time, would assume that he had betrayed her and, driven to despair by so disastrous an illusion, would ignore his advice and senselessly rush into Fuad’s arms. At this moment of unspeakable anguish his eyes fell upon a piece of rope which, by some unaccountable chance, was hanging from a hook on the wall. God himself, he thought, as he snatched it down, had put it there to save him and his lover. In a trice he wound it round the young woman’s hands and feet, knotting it firmly and ignoring her stirrings and resistance; then, when he had pulled the ends tight and tied them fast to the bedstead, he pressed a kiss on her lips and, delighted to have regained control of the situation for a moment, rushed out to meet Fuad who was already clattering up the stairs. 

            When the negro, still incredulous of the old woman’s report about Jacques, saw him emerging from the room which had been pointed out to him, he stopped in amazement and confusion and stood still in the corridor at the head of his troop of torchbearers and armed men. “Disloyal bastard!” he cried out, and turning to Bisoken, who had advanced a few steps towards the stranger’s door, he asked: ‘Has the woman escaped?’ Bisoken, who had found the door open but not looked through it, returned to him with a face of fury, exclaiming: ‘The deceitful traitor! He has let her get away. Be quick and set guards on every exit, before she reaches open country!’ ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Jacques, starring with an air of astonishment at the old man and the soliders who stood round him. ‘The matter?’ retorted Fuad, and so saying he seized Jacques by the neck and dragged him to the bedroom. ‘Are you all crazy?’ cried Jacques, repulsing the old negro, who stood rooted to the spot at the sight that met his eyes. ‘There lies your stranger, tied up in her bed by me; and by heaven, this is not the worst deed I have done in my lifetime!’ So saying he turned his back on him and kicked a table in feigned frustration across the room. The old man turned to his mother, who was standing on one side in confusion, and said, “Oh Bisoken, what tale is this you have been deceiving me with?’ Thank heavens!’ replied the old woman, examining in some embarrassment the rope that held the stranger captive, ‘she is here, although I don’t understand how all this came about.’ The negro, sheathing his sword, went to the bed and asked the woman questions, attempting to verify who she was, where she had come from, and where she was going. But since the prisoner merely struggled convulsively to free herself and could utter no words except an anguished moan of ‘Oh, Jacques! Oh, Jacques!’ Bisoken spoke for her and told Fuad that she was visiting the island with her family of European dogs when the revolt began, and that they were on their way from the harbor town Fort Dauphin, but were at this moment hiding in the mountain caves by Raven pond. Fuad, seeing Jacques leaning against wall disconsolately with his arms akimbo, went over to him. The old man put his hand on Jacques’ shoulder, and asked him for forgiveness concerning his over-hasty suspicion. The old woman, who had also gone up to her son, stood with her hands on her hips, shaking her head. ‘But why’ she asked him, ‘did you rope the stranger to the bed, when she had no idea of the danger she was in?’ Jacques, with tears in his eyes on account of his distress and rage, turned suddenly to his mother and answered, ‘Because you are blind and deaf! Because she knew perfectly well the danger that was hanging over her! Because she was trying to get away to reunite with her family; because she had asked me to help her escape; because she was plotting against your own life, and would quite certainly have carried out her intention before daybreak if I had not tied her up while she was asleep.’ The old negro patted Jacques’ back, attempting to comfort him, and ordered Bisoken to say no more on the subject. He ordered two of his musketeers to come forward with their guns and execute immediately upon the woman the law to which her life had fallen forfeit; but Bisoken whispered secretly to him: ‘No, for heaven’s sake, Fuad!’ She took him aside and pointed out to him that the stranger, before they executed her, must write a letter asking her family to join her, so that by this means the family could be enticed into the plantation, whereas it would be in many respects dangerous to attack them in the forest. Fuad, taking into account the probability that the family would not be unarmed, approved this suggestion; since it was now too late to have the agreed letter written, he detailed two of his men to guard the white fugitive, and after taking the further precaution of examining the ropes and even, since he found them too loosely tied, summoning two or three of his followers to tighten them, he left the room with his whole troop, and before very long the whole household had retired to bed.

            But Jacques had only been acting a part when the old man had grasped him again by the hand and he had said good night to him and retired to his room; as soon as all was quiet in the house he got up again, slipped through a back door and out into the open country, and with the wildest despair in his heart ran along the road that intersected the main highway, towards the place from which Eva Gervais’ family would be coming. For the glances full of contempt which Eva had cast at him from her bed had pierced his heart like knife wounds; a burning feeling of bitterness now mingled with his love for her, and he exulted in the prospect of dying in this enterprise designed to save her life. Fearing to miss the family, he stood waiting under a pine tree past which they would all have to come if they had accepted the invitation; and sure enough, as agreed, the first ray of dawn had scarcely appeared on the horizon when the voice of the boy Danky, who was acting as their guide, could be heard from some way off among the trees.

            The procession consisted of Monsieur Gervais, who had miraculously recovered from his wound, his sister, the latter riding on a mule; her five children, two of whom, Tancrede and Martin, young men of nineteen and eighteen, were walking beside the mule, four servants and two maids, one of whom was riding the other mule with an infant at her breast; thirteen persons in all. They advanced slowly along the path, which was crisscrossed with tree-roots, and reached the trunk of the pine; whereupon Jacques, very quietly in order not to give alarm, stepped out from the shadow of the tree and called to the procession to stop. They boy at once recognized him, and when he asked where Monsieur Gervais was he eagerly introduced him to the elderly head of the family, while men and women and children surrounded him. He addressed Monsieur Gervais in resolute tones, interrupting his words of greeting. ‘Noble sir!’ he said, ‘the negro Fuad has quite unexpectedly returned to the settlement with his whole troop of followers. You cannot enter it now without exposing your lives to the utmost danger; indeed your daughter, who was unfortunate enough to be admitted to the house, is doomed unless you take your weapons and follow me to the plantation, where the negro Fuad is holding her prisoner!’ ‘Merciful heavens!’ exclaimed the whole family in alarm; and the aunt, who was ill and exhausted from the journey, fainted and fell from her mule to the ground. While the maidservants, called by Monsieur Gervais, ran up to help their mistress, Jacques was besieged with questions by the young men, and fearing the boy Danky he took Monsieur Gervais and the other men aside. Not withholding his tears of shame and remorse, he told them all that had happened: how matters had stood at the moment of the young woman’s arrival at the house, and how his private conversations with her had quite incomprehensibly changed everything; what he had done, almost mad with fear, when Fuad had come back, and how he was resolved to risk his life to free Eva again from the trap in which he himself had caught her. ‘My weapons,’ cried Monsieur Gervais, hastening to his sister’s mule and taking down his musket. And as her stalwart sons Tancrede and Martin and the three sturdy servants were also arming themselves, he said, ‘My daughter put her life in grave danger sneaking away in the night to find us help, now it is our duty to do everything we can to rescue her.’ Thereupon he lifted his sister, who had recovered herself, back on to the mule, took care to have the boy Danky’s hands tied so that he would be a kind of hostage, and sent all his womenfolk and children back to Raven pond guarded only by his aunt’s thirteen-year-old son Julien who was also armed. Then he questioned Jacques, who had taken a helmet and pike for his own use, about the numerical strength of the negroes and how they were positioned in the courtyard, and after promising him to do his utmost in this enterprise to spare both Fuad, his mother, and his sister, courageously placed himself, trusting in God, at the head of his small company and began, with Jacques as guide, to advance towards the settlement.

            As soon as they had all crept in by the back gate, Jacques pointed out to Monsieur Gervais the room in which Fuad and Bisoken lay asleep; and while he and his men silently entered the unlocked house and took possession of all the negroes’ firearms, he slipped off round to the stable in which Danky’s five-year-old half-brother Peppy was sleeping. For Danky and Peppy, Fuad’s bastard children, were very dear to the old negro, especially the latter, whose mother had recently died, and even if they were to succeed in liberating his captured lover, it would clearly still be very difficult for them to get back to Raven pond and from there to Port-au-Prince, where he intended to escape with them. He therefore rightly concluded that it would be very advantageous for the company of fugitives to be in possession of both the little boys, as a form of guarantee for their safety should they be pursued by the negroes. He succeeded, without being seen, in lifting the boy out of his bed and carrying him in his arms, half asleep and half awake, over into the main building. Meanwhile Monsieur Gervais and his men, as stealthily as possible, had entered Fuad’s bedroom: but Fuad and Bisoken, instead of being in bed as he expected to find them, had been wakened by the noise and were both standing in the middle of the room, although half naked and helpless. Monsieur Gervais, musket in hand, shouted to them to surrender or he would kill them; but Fuad, instead of replying, snatched a pistol from the wall and fired a wild shot at the company, grazing Monsieur Gervais’ head. This was the sign from the latter’s followers to attack him furiously; after Fuad had fired a second shot which went through the shoulder of one of the servants, a blow from a cutlass wounded him in the hand, and both he and Bisoken were overpowered and lashed with ropes to the frame of a large table. In the meantime Fuad’s soliders, twenty or more in number and sleeping in the outbuildings, had been wakened by the shots, and hearing old Bisoken screaming in the house, had rushed out and were furiously trying to force their way into it to regain their weapons. In vain Monsieur Gervais, whose wound was insignificant, stationed his men at the windows and tried with musket fire to check the advance of the negro soldiers; heedless of the fact that two of them already lay dead in the courtyard, they were about to fetch axes and crowbars in order to break down the door of the house which Monsieur Gervais had bolted, when Jacques, trembling with apprehension and carrying the boy Peppy in his arms, entered Fuad’s room. Monsieur Gervais, greatly relieved to see him, snatched the boy from him and, drawing his hunting knife, turned to Fuad and vowed that he would instantly kill his son if he did not call out to his men and order them to withdraw. Fuad, whose strength was broken by the sword-wound in three fingers of his hand, and whose own life would have been in danger if he had refused, consented after a moment’s consideration to do this, and asked them to lift him from the ground. Led by Monsieur Gervais, he stood at the window and taking a handkerchief in his left hand he waved it and shouted to his soldiers in the yard, telling them that he had no need of their help to save his life, and that they were to leave the door untouched and get back into their outhouses. This brought about a lull in the fighting; at Monsieur Gervais’ insistence, Fuad sent a man who had been taken prisoner in the house out into the yard to repeat this order to some of his men who were still standing there discussing what to do; and since the blacks, although they could make neither head nor tail of the matter, could not disregard this official communication, they abandoned their enterprise, for which everything was already prepared, and gradually, although grumbling and cursing, retired to their sleeping-quarters. Monsieur Gervais had the boy Peppy’s hands tied up in front of Fuad and told the latter that his intention was simply and solely to free his daughter from her imprisonment on the plantation, and that if no obstacles were put in the way of their escape to Port-au-Prince, then neither his, Fuad’s, life nor those of his children would be in any danger and the two boys would be returned to him. Jacques approached Bisoken and, full of emotion which he could not suppress, attempted to take her hand in farewell, but the old woman vehemently repulsed him. She called him a contemptible traitor and, bound as she was to the legs of the table, twisted herself round and predicted that God’s vengeance would strike him even before he could enjoy the fruits of his vile deed. Jacques replied, ‘I have not betrayed you; I am a white man and betrothed to this young woman whom you are holding prisoner; I belong to the race of those with whom you are openly at war and I will be answerable before God for having taken their side.’ Monsieur Gervais then set a guard on Fuad, having again as a precaution had the ropes secured round him and firmly fixed to the doorposts; he had the servant who was lying unconscious on the ground with a shattered shoulder-blade lifted and carried away; and after finally telling Fuad that in a few days’ time he would have both children, Danky as well as Peppy, fetched back from Sainte Luce, where the first French outposts were stationed, he gestured towards Jacques to follow him; overcome by a variety of emotions Jacques could not forbear weeping as, with Bisoken and Fuad hurling curses after them, he and Monsieur Gervais departed the bedroom. 

            In the meantime, as soon as the first main fighting at the windows was over, Monsieur’s nephews Tancrede and Martin had on their uncle’s instructions hurried to their cousin Eva’s room, and had been fortunate enough to overcome, after a stubborn resistance, the two blacks who were guarding her. One of them lay dead in the room, the other, shot and severely wounded, had dragged himself out into the corridor. The brothers, the elder of whom had himself been wounded, though only slightly, in the thigh, untied their dear beloved cousin from the bed: they embraced and kissed her, gave her a pistol, and joyfully invited her to accompany them to the front room where, since victory was now assured, her father would not doubt be already making all the arrangements for their withdrawal. But their cousin Eva, half sitting up in the bed, merely pressed their hands warmly, she was silent and distracted, and instead of taking the pistol they offered her, raised her right hand to her forehead and passed it across it in a gesture of inexpressible sorrow. The young men had sat down beside her and asked what was wrong; she put her arms round them and laid her head on the younger cousin’s shoulder without saying a word; and just as Martin, thinking she was going to faint, was about to rise and fetch her a glass of water, the door opened and Jacques entered carrying the boy Seppy with Monsieur Gervais at his side. At this sight Eva changed color: she stood up, clinging to her cousins for support as if she were on the verge of collapsing, and before the two youths could tell what she intended to do with the pistol she now snatched from them, she had, gritting her teeth with rage, fired a bullet straight at Jacques. It went right through his breast; with a stifled cry of pain he staggered another few steps towards her and then, handing the little boy to Monsieur Gervais, sank down at her feet; but she hurled the pistol over him to the ground, kicked him away from her, calling him a traitor, and threw herself down on the bed. ‘Why, what have you done!’ cried Monsieur Gervais and his two nephews. The latter rushed to Jacques, raised him in their arms and shouted for one of the old servants who during their march had given medical assistance in many similar desperate cases; but the young man, convulsively pressing his hand against the wound, pushed his friends back, and pointing to the woman who had shot him gasped brokenly with his last breath: ‘Tell her -!’, and again, ‘tell her-!’ ‘What are we to tell her?’ asked Monsieur Gervais, for death was robbing him of speech. Tancrede and Martin rose to their feet and cried out to the perpetrator of this appalling and senseless murder: ‘Do you not know that this man saved your life, that he loves you and that it was his intention to escape to Port-au-Prince with you, to whom he had sacrificed everything, his parents, and all he had?’ They shouted into her ears: ‘Eva! Can’t you hear us?’, and shook her and pulled her by her clothes, for she was lying on the bed heedless of them and of everything. Eva sat up. She glanced at the young man where he lay writhing in his blood, and the fury which had impelled her to the deed gave way not unnaturally to a feeling of common compassion. Monsieur Gervais, weeping hot tears and with his handkerchief to his eyes, asked her: ‘My daughter. My poor, wretched daughter, why did you do that?’ Eva, who had risen from the bed and was standing looking down at the young man and wiping the sweat from her brow, answered that he had with infamous treachery tied her up in the night and handed her over to Fuad. ‘Oh!’ cried Jacques, reaching out his hand towards her with a look no words can describe, ‘dearest friend, I tied you up, because-!’ but he could not speak, nor even reach her with his hand; his strength suddenly failed him and he fell back on to Monsieur Gervais’ lap. ‘Why?’ asked Eva, turning pale and kneeling down beside him. Monsieur Gervais, after a long pause during which they waited in vain for an answer from Jacques, the silence broken only by his dying gasps, replied for him and said: ‘Because, my unhappy daughter, there was no other way to save you after Fuad’s arrival; because he wanted to prevent the fight you would undoubtedly have started, and to gain time until we reached you, for thanks to him we were already hurrying here to rescue you by force of arms.’ Eva buried her face in her hands. ‘Oh!’ she cried without looking up, and the earth seemed to give way under her feet, ‘is this true, what you are telling me?’ She put her arm round him and gazed into his face, her heart rent with anguish. ‘Oh’, cried Jacques, and these were his last words, ‘you should not have mistrusted me!’ And so saying, the noble-hearted man expired. Eva tore her hair. “It’s true!’ she exclaimed, as her cousins dragged her away from the corpse, ‘I should not have mistrusted you, for you were betrothed to me by a vow, although we had not put it into words!’ Monsieur Gervais, lamenting, took off the man’s shirt and urged the servant, who was standing by with a few crude instruments, to try to extract the bullet which he thought must have lodged in his breast-bone; but all their efforts, as we have said, were in vain, the shot had pierced right through him and his soul had already departed to a better world. During this, Eva had gone over to the window; and while Monsieur Gervais and his nephews, weeping silently, were discussing what was to be done with the body, and whether the young man’s mother should be called to the scene, she took up the other, still loaded pistol, and blew her brains out with it. This new deed of horror threw her family into utter consternation. They rushed over to the fallen body; but the wretched woman’s skull was completely shattered, parts of it indeed adhering to the surrounding walls, for she had thrust the pistol into her mouth. Monsieur Gervais collapsed in despair; ten minutes later the cousins were still doing their best to help him regain his composure, for already bright daylight was shining through the windows and the negroes were reported to be stirring again in the courtyard; there was therefore no choice but to begin the company’s immediate withdrawal from the settlement. Not wishing to abandon the two dead bodies, they laid them on a board, and the party with muskets reloaded set out in sorrowful procession towards Raven pond. Tancrede, carrying the boy Peppy, walked first, with his gun cocked; next came the two strongest servants bearing the dead bodies on their shoulders; behind them another servant support Monsieur Gervais, who could hardly walk, and then Martin with another servant followed behind the slowly advancing cortège, with their guns cocked. The negroes, seeing the group so weakly defended, emerged from their quarters with pikes and pitchforks and seemed to be about to launch an attack; but Fuad, whose captors had prudently released him, came out of the house on to the steps and signaled to his men to leave them alone. ‘At Sainte Luce!’ he called out to Monsieur Gervais, who had already reached the gateway with the dead bodies and who could hear nothing. ‘At Sainte Luce,” Martin and Tancrede called back for their uncle, knowing their uncle couldn’t speak; whereupon the procession, without being pursued, passed out into the open country and reached the forest. At Raven pond, where they found the remainder of the family, a grave was dug for the dead and many tears shed for them; and when the rings that Jacques and Eva both wore had been exchanged in a final gesture, the two lovers were lowered, amid silent prayers, into the place of their eternal rest. Five days later Monsieur Gervais was fortunate enough to reach Sainte Luce with his sister, her children and their servants, and there, as he had promised, he left the two negro boys behind. Entering Port-au-Prince shortly before the beginning of the siege, he fought recklessly on its ramparts against an attack; and when the city after stubborn resistance had fallen to General Dessalines, he and the French army escaped aboard ships of the British fleet; the family sailed to Europe, where without further mishap they reached France. There Monsieur Gervais settled by himself and using the rest of his small fortune bought a secluded house in the Loire Valley, just outside the city of Blois. And in the year 1807, among the bushes of his garden, one could still see the monument he had erected to the memory of his daughter Eva, and to the faithful Jacques, her husband-to-be.

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(C)rap Battle #6

All’s use do iz

Spit nursery rhymes

Go out wit friends and nurse coronas wit limes

Talkin bout the good ol’ crimes

You committed with hats that were fitted

Bats + trumpet taps for the afflicted, pope’s-a-joke + hope-for-dope addicted

Made sure you didn’t choke and the teacher’s apple was pitted

Look widget kid with a tidbit what’s widdit?

I told you: always wear ya hand-knitted mittens

When it’s cold n you quit the band n you playin quidditch

Hermione’s a dime

(Not by the dozen cuzin I wasn’t fuzzin or buzzin)

Taking all the classes grasping hourglasses going back in time

She in it

Now it’s time to quit it

When you holdin the snitch but you snitchin

Ditch ya LIT class with the bathroom pass

They wonderin if you shittin or splittin







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J.D. Salinger’s Unpublished Work Will Be Released, Confirms Matt Salinger, E.T.A.: 6 years

Special thanks to Alice Develey for conducting the interview and giving me permission to translate it into English. Also thanks to Le Figaro (original article).

INTERVIEW (2.5 minute read): After years of rumors, it’s official: everything that the most secretive American author has written will be released.

LE FIGARO: “Did Salinger continue to write after his last short story, Hapworth 16th, 1924?”

Matt Salinger: “Yes. My father was an author, so he wrote all his life. People seem surprised that he continued to do so without publishing. But he thought that publication was a distraction. My father was a very private person. That’s one of the reasons he didn’t give interviews. He thought they were useless, that everything he had to say was in his books. Maybe he was out of step with his time.”

“What was his connection to his readers?”

“They were almost sacred to him. It was like he was writing directly into the imagination of each reader. That’s why he never accepted any adaption of his books. And that’s why I wouldn’t want it either. There will be no film or series. If Leonardo DiCaprio – him or another actor – plays a character, you will always have his image in your head. You will never be free to imagine it again. My father was a purist. He did not want the reader to be prevented from dreaming or for the reader’s mind to be blurred by minor, outside conceptions. He wanted people to open his books without any prejudice. This year, I have two projects: to help publishers who are working on new editions of Salinger and to set the record straight. I want readers to know that most of the things that have been announced are false. There are biographies that have been published by biographers who have never spoken to him. However, in the absence of contact, they had to feed on rumours. One of these biographies says that there are six books finished that are ready to be printed. But that’s completely false! It goes against my father to say all this. However, I would like to tell readers that what was not published during Salinger’s lifetime will be published. As far as possible. That is, in no less than three years but no more than ten. I think in six years, it’ll all be over.”

“I think Salinger’s most dedicated readers will find treasures in what is released. I don’t know if we’ll publish all at once. It’s still under discussion.”

“Why take so much time?”

“When you have written for forty-five years at the rate of five, six, seven, eight hours a day, every day of your life, there is a lot of work. No one can imagine how much work that is. There are both handwritten and typed sheets to transcribe, double-spaced typed sheets with annotated margins… This requires a lot of transcription time. But I don’t edit anything, I don’t interfere with what he wrote. I think the most dedicated Salinger readers will find treasures in what is released. I don’t know if we’ll publish all at once. It’s still under discussion. There will probably be people who will buy it because they have heard about the Salinger myth. They will certainly be disappointed, but that is not a problem. J. D. Salinger wrote for his readers. I look forward to sharing his writings with these readers.

What are we talking about here? Novels, poems, letters?

It’s not important. What the reader needs to know is that these will be his writings. France despises short stories. However, in my opinion, if you appreciate a writer, you will appreciate everything he or she has produced, whatever the form of what he or she has written. That is why I will not tell you what form his texts will take. To answer your question, then, I read everything my father didn’t publish. But I will not say anything, so that the readers, whom Salinger loved so much, do not have a biased reading of what they will read. It would be a disservice to my father to do the opposite.

Did your father ever talk to you about his work?

Sometimes. He loved to write. It was his great joy, which made him happy. He thought he was doing what “We” – call it God if you wish – expected of him. Sometimes he was electrified about what he was doing and would come out of his office with eyes filled with excitement. Sometimes he would laugh and read me a few lines. But I wasn’t around much. So, most of the time, he didn’t have a confident to read his texts to. Sometimes he would read to his wife. But I don’t know to what extent he did it. He was a very secretive man. He didn’t care much about money. He really lived very simply, modestly. He was an artist. A real one. He wanted to share his writings, nothing else.

“My father studied things so deeply that nothing surprised him.”

Did he know why Catcher in the Rye was so successful?

He never talked about that. I have my own idea on the matter, but would he have agreed with me? I read The Catcher in the Rye when I was eleven and numerous times as I grew up. When I re-read The Catcher in the Rye or Franny and Zooey – which is my favorite – I feel like I hear his voice. But his voice is always there, in me. I thought I was experiencing something unique because I was his son. Then I realized that I had many brothers and sisters when I read it because he had written it in a very personal way for each reader. That’s what makes his writing so beautiful. I think that when you get older, you see things differently. By rediscovering it, you will surely learn things about yourself: how much you have changed, who you were and who you have become. It is whispered that there may be a new translation… But there is nothing official.

[Author’s Note: I’ve read the French version of The Catcher In The Rye and it is dated and stale (Bon Sang ! Le cafard). In another 6 years I hope to have learned and lived enough French to translate a new version.]

What would he think of our world today?

When Trump was elected president, I called my sister. I said, “What person wouldn’t be surprised if we elected this clown?” And she started screaming, “Dad!” Our father was deeply sceptical. He was suspicious of technology. He never had a computer or a mobile phone. He thought Facebook and Google were worrying. Alarming, even. He was a strong supporter of European laws for the protection of personal data. He found the world sad but not surprising. He had this ability to predict events. I don’t think he had this gift of omniscience, but he was a keen observer. He studied things so deeply that nothing surprised him.

Did he believe in God?

It depends on what you mean by “God”. But yes, completely. He has read and studied religions throughout his life. That’s why I don’t think people can understand the depth of his reading, the number of books he’s been able to read. He was attracted to the mystical part of religions but whether it was Judaism, Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Confucianism… he studied everything. He spent decades analyzing them.


If you want to learn more, check out this article from The Guardian this past February: “Matt Salinger: ‘My father was writing for 50 years without publishing. That’s a lot of material.'”

Or this 27 minute video interview of Matt Salinger by Penguin Books UK, posted two days ago.

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